Am I There Yet?

...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 04:43:00 +0000

My skin is still crawling. Just thought you should know.

Where's a little brother when you need one?

I'll Never Sleep Again

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 04:27:00 +0000

There's this random pipe running from the ceiling in my bedroom down to the floor, and it's right next to my bed. So I was just sitting here, calmly reading a magazine, when I glanced to my right and saw the BIGGEST most DISGUSTING at least 2-inch long centipede thing run down the pipe. I don't know where it came from, and I have no idea where it went.

I think I may sleep on the futon in the living room tonight.

The Weekend has Arrived...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 21 Aug 2005 00:23:00 +0000

...and I'm still as boring as ever. :-b

I didn't really accomplish much of anything today. Read for a while, walked around for a while, visited ground zero (looks almost exactly the same as it did a year ago when I was here), got blisters from wearing stupid shoes, came home, and read again.

I was in bed reading by 10 last night, and it's not even 8:30 and I'm kind of thinking of doing the same thing tonight. I definitely need to start going out and actually doing stuff, or this isn't going to be much different from Grand Rapids. I need to make some friends here who I can tag along with. :o)

Day 4

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sat, 20 Aug 2005 03:49:00 +0000

I didn't exactly meet my deadline for unpacking, but I'm satisfied with how much I finished. Just a few bags left, which I hope I'll be motivated enough to finish tomorrow. I think the worst part about this move is that I know that I'll be moving all this stuff again in less than a year. I hope the memory of this move will be fresh enough in my mind by then that I'll be a little more organized with the packing. Somehow, though, I doubt it.

Today, I ventured out to Brooklyn for the first time. Somewhat. I went straight from the subway into Target (the subway station is in the same building) and back into the subway. I did, however, find cheap groceries in Target. So maybe I'll have to explore elsewhere in Brooklyn.

Words cannot express my love for The Container Store. Seriously. It's as if it was designed with every one of my OCD tendencies in mind. I'm one of those annoying people who finds organizing things fun. So I forsee the location of this store (just a few blocks down the street) as a potential financial problem. I think I'll just avoid that area altogether, at least until I have a job. :o)

The internet guy finally called back today, and he can't be out here to set up our connection until next Thursday. The unsecured connections I've been getting lately have become even more intermittent. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time in the next few days in the tea shop with free wireless.

I'm So Consistent...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 19 Aug 2005 16:09:00 +0000

See how well I do when I resolve to blog daily? Lasted 2 days. I should be so proud. Anyway, I accomplished nothing, really, yesterday. Got a little banking done, but stayed in the apartment reading for most of the day. I think I just needed a break, because today I am motivated again to finish the unpacking. The intermittent rain outside is probably a big part of that motivation, too. :-b

Still stealing one of our neighbors' internet. Actually, rotating between 3 or 4 unsecured signals that my laptop can detect. Does no one know how to set up a password? It's kinda spotty, but I guess it'll do until the internet guy calls me back. I haven't had enough consistent access yet, though, to check the weather. I think that'll be my priority for the next time I get online.

Little side-note: I cut my hair off a week or so before I came here. I just got sick of having long hair, and I figured since I was changing homes and (hopefully) changing jobs I'd change my look at the same time. Having had long hair all my life, I had never experienced bedhead. I'm sure my hair got messed up or whatever when I slept, but it was long enough that it just kind of settled down anyway. Today, I woke up with a mohawk. And since I'm unpacking, I haven't yet showered and fixed it (no point in getting all nice and clean and then getting all sweaty and gross again hauling boxes and stuff around). So I currently have this lovely flat-on-one-side-kinda-crazy-on-the-other mohawk thing going on. I need a digital camera. Although, maybe it's a good thing I don't have one...don't know if I really want photographic evidence of this.

I Feel Evil...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 04:35:00 +0000

I'm stealing someone's internet. I turned my laptop on in my apartment last night to check up on some information I had stored, and I didn't have any wireless signal. I moved my bed this afternoon, because I figured out a way to better utilize the space in my bedroom, and now I have wireless! I guess this is what they get for leaving their network name as "linksys" and having it unsecured. :-b

I feel quite prolific--3 posts in one day. I wonder how long I'll keep it up?

Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:50:00 +0000

I'm feeling a little more settled today. Much less emotional chaos, which is a very good thing.

I haven't really accomplished much today in the way of unpacking. I did get 3-4 more boxes unpacked, and I bought bed risers so now I can store more under my bed. I think I've gotten to the point where I'll be able to fit everything I brought.

I'm finding the transitions I've gone through lately to be very unsettling. I went from living in a nice apartment with a good friend and being very financially stable, to living at home with my parents and siblings making pizzas for a little over minimum wage, to living in a tiny apartment with a girl I don't know at all in a huge city with no job. I'm a person who very much enjoys stability. I think once I have a job, and get to the point where I have established some habits, I'll feel a lot more settled. Until then, I'm just trying to live day-by-day.

On the job front, I've been mainly looking for jobs online. I signed up on monster.com, hotjobs.yahoo.com, and a few other sites. I started looking a few months ago, and I quickly realized that with my generalized degree and lack of experience, I'm not exactly the most desirable job candidate. I have applied to a few jobs, and when I didn't hear back from most of my applications, I signed up on a few sites for temp office workers. I'm hoping to get a job with one of those firms. If I don't, I have seen quite a few "Now Hiring" signs in stores in my neighborhood, and while I really don't want to waste more time in a job that isn't giving me valid resume experience, I do need to make money. We'll see how everything pans out, but right now I'm trying to stay optimistic. This is a very expensive place to live with no income.

My goal for getting everything unpacked and being settled in is to be done by Friday. I've told myself that if I am done by the weekend, I will completely ignore the job search and just have a fun, relaxing weekend. It's been pretty good motivation so far, although I do have quite a few errands to run in the next few days.

One of the biggest differences I've noticed here is the lack of grocery stores. Do most residents shop in those tiny, expensive shops that have a limited selection of stuff, or are there hidden grocery stores I'm not seeing? I think I'll have to do a little more exploring for stuff like this. Fortunately, I brought a lot of non-perishable food from home, so I think I'll be living on pasta and soup until I can find affordable groceries.

As for the internet situation, I'm sitting right now in a tea shop called the Tea Spot that has free wireless access. I stumbled on it a few blocks away from my apartment. I'm hoping to get internet access set up in my apartment tomorrow. I feel really cut off from the world not having access on a regular basis. Does that make me an addict? Anyway, I should get out of here soon. I have a feeling the one slice of cheesecake I bought probably doesn't entitle me to use the internet for too long. :o)

Oops...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:31:00 +0000

I thought I had posted the item that I just reposted (marked June 3), but I guess I forgot. It contains most of the explanations for my current situation.

Fast Forward...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 03:06:00 +0000

As I type this, I'm lying in my bed in my tiny bedroom in my apartment in New York. I guess the only word to describe my feelings right now is overwhelmed.

After months of planning and chaos, I've finally moved. Having been a rather intermittent blogger before, I've decided to make an effort to journal my "adventures" as I move from Michigan to NYC. I'm writing this tonight (8/16), and I'll try to post it tomorrow. I'm hoping to get internet access set up tomorrow, but if not I'll try to find a cafe or something with wireless. I have too much to do online to be without internet access for long.

Currently, my stuff is about halfway unpacked. I've realized that I definitely brought too much stuff, and I'm debating the pros and cons of throwing stuff away versus sending it to my parents to store until I live somewhere where I have room for it. Fortunately, there's room enough for all of the essentials, and I think I'll be able to come up with ways to store most of the stuff I have.

After telling people countless times that I would definitely not move until I found a job...I have no job. I'm trying to avoid completely stressing out about this situation, while still maintaining the urgency I need to find a job. I do have enough money to pay next month's rent with no income, and while I would hate to borrow from my parents, I know they'd be willing to help with the next month's if necessary. I also have the advantage of being willing to do almost anything, as long as it'll pay the bills. I'm applying to very entry-level jobs, hoping to find something that'll give me opportunities for advancement.

I have been staying with my family for the last month, and they brought me out here, so when they drove away today I got pretty emotional. My city-hating family actually drove here, in a truck, pulling a U-Haul, with my sister following in her car. It was quite the interesting trip. My apartment is just a few blocks north of the Holland tunnel, so we had planned on taking that. We got to the area where you pay the toll, and they wouldn't let us through with the trailer. They actually stopped traffic through the rest of the toll booths so we could get across and onto a road that would lead us to the Lincoln tunnel. Once we got there, we had to navigate our way through much more of the city than we had planned on driving through. Fortunately, there were no accidents. I have a feeling, though, that my dad will never visit me again.

Overall, I think I'm more exhausted, both physically and emotionally, than anything else right now. I'm going to bed much earlier than usual, and I hope I'll be able to finish unpacking tomorrow. I really think that getting everything put away will help me feel much more at home. Hopefully once things settle down a little I'll get my excitement about living here back. Right now, to be honest, all I want to do is erase the last 48 hours and be back at home.

She Lives! (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Mon, 20 Jun 2005 18:49:00 +0000

*blush* I know, I know. I'm a terrible blogger. I resolve to do better. :o)

I'm actually not posting much today...just using up some of my last minutes of internet access here waiting for a download to finish.

I have discovered that I am, indeed, the most boring person in the universe. Case in point: I'm currently in NYC, apartment-hunting (which was successful! I'll post more about that later.) . We're here for a week (6/16-6/23), and we signed a lease on the second day. Most people would then take advantage of 5 days in NY and actually, you know, do stuff. I've spent the past few days reading in Central Park during the day and reading in my apartment at night. I've spent the last 2 hours catching up on all my 'net stuff in a Starbucks. My plans for the afternoon are to return to my apartment...probably to read. Maybe I'll hop on the subway and go up to Central Park instead, and actually take advantage of the sunlight. When I actually move here (the date is still not definite, although we do have an apartment now), I'll have to make myself actually go out and do something on occasion. :-b

She Lives!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 23:11:00 +0000

The URL of this blog is "life on pause," and one of my earliest posts describes my reasons for choosing this name. Basically, my life was kind of stuck in one place and didn't seem to be doing anything. I was hoping at some point to hit play and get on with it. I think I kind of missed play and went straight to fast-forward.

One of my least favorite things about myself is my fear of change. I remember as a kid crying when my mom moved the furniture in my room. I thought I had gotten over this fear of change a little, but I've realized in the last few months that I really haven't. I did the most gradual move to Grand Rapids possible...starting out living in the dorms and going home every summer, then moving into an apartment my senior year and finally sticking around the summer after I graduated. Instead of looking around for jobs after graduation, I stuck with the one I had been working at since my sophomore year (although I did get a raise and more responsibility). I've basically lived my life so far in a way that specifically avoids making any major decisions. And then I kind of accidentally made one, and things have been snowballing from there.

It started out last summer. My roommate and I were watching a tennis match (Wimbledon, I believe), and she had the idea that we could go see the US Open. We looked into getting tickets, and discovered that it was located in New York City. Over Labor Day weekend, we drove out to New York. We hit the major tourist spots during the day and watched tennis matches at night. Over 2 days, I completely fell in love.

I've been planning on grad school since I finished my undergrad degree, but I was kind of putting it off. Most grad school credits don't transfer, so I didn't want to start somewhere I didn't plan on living for the next 2 years of my life. I had stayed in Grand Rapids because my favorite sister was planning on going to college here, but it was quickly looking like she wouldn't be staying, and I had no real reason to stick around. My job was getting boring, and I decided I didn't want to attend WMU, which was where I had been planning on getting my MBA. I have no idea where the idea of applying to NYU came into my mind, but once I thought of it the idea just stuck in my head. I looked into it and found that it was way beyond my budget, but I decided to apply anyway. I figured if I got in I'd just add to my student loans and hope for a good job once I graduated. (Either that, of course, or declare bankruptcy.) :-b I applied to the part-time program, planning on working full-time regardless of whether or not I was accepted.

When I was looking into attending NYU, I started talking to people about potential roommates and apartments. If I got in, I wanted to be able to make the move with a minimum of chaos, and lining things up early seemed like a good idea. A coworker had a friend starting law school at Cardozo (conveniently right down the road from NYU), and she and I met and seemed to get along pretty well. After talking a few times, I decided to move, regardless of whether or not I was accepted at NYU.

In the middle of May, in a meeting with my boss, I found out that my position would be ending on June 21. It was basically a temporary position to assist with a system conversion at the school, so I had known that when the conversion was over my job as I knew it would be done, but I hadn't really expected to lose the job completely. I had gone through multiple transitions of job responsibilities since I started as a student worker 3 years before, but due to budgetary concerns there wasn't enough reason to justify keeping me. My sister left the school after the fall semester, and I had no reason to stay in Grand Rapids.

So the situation now:

The planning team revised the conversion date. My last day of work here is June 14.

My new roommate (Megan) and I are headed to New York from June 16-23 to look for apartments.

I'm trying to schedule job interviews in NY, hopefully during the week I'm there.

I haven't yet found out if I got in at NYU. I'm not entirely confident...my test scores and transcripts are excellent, but my application essays were horrible and I don't have a great deal of experience.

I'm completely broke. I'm not even really sure how I'm going to pay this month's rent.

The fee to break the lease at my current apartment is $1,000.

My current roommate is moving to Houston on July 9.

I'm moving out of my apartment here on July 16.

I'm moving in with my parents.

I'm planning on moving to New York on August 15.

During the month I live with my parents, I have to sell my car and somehow get the money to move. I also have to manage to not kill anyone. I visited over Memorial Day weekend and managed to have a fight with my mom within 48 hours.

At this point, I have no definite job prospects.

Also, my parents are totally against the move. They hate cities.

So, yeah...when I decide to take charge of my life and make things happen, I guess I kind of go all the way. I've spent the past few months in sheer terror and avoiding thinking about anything real (hence the neglecting of the blog). It's come the the point where denial is no longer possible, and I think I'm coming close to a breakdown of some kind. Either that, or I'm growing as a person. Right now, I'm just trying to remind myself that I really didn't like the whole "life on pause" thing much, and once I actually get to New York things will settle down. If not, I think I want to quit being an adult. Can I do that?

I'll take that as a compliment?

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 00:06:00 +0000

I just got back from a walk around my apartment complex and some of the streets nearby. The complex I live in has pretty cheap apartments, so it caters to a pretty young crowd, primarily college students. I love walking (it makes me feel like I'm getting in touch with nature and exercising, although I'm barely doing either), but I prefer to walk with someone so I can talk. I've also found that walking alone can attract quite the attention...

I'm always surprised by the lack of subtlety evidenced by most college-aged guys. If I'm checking a guy out, I usually at least make an effort not to be obvious. Guys see a girl they like, though, and they're staring, whistling, and yelling out lines. I'm not at all offended by this, though...hey, who doesn't like attention? The most common things I hear are wolf whistles and the highly creative "Hey baby!" Got a new one today, though.

So I'm walking, and this car goes by kind of slowly. I glance up. He's actually kind of cute, and driving a nice car, and we make eye contact for a second. He turns his head, opens his mouth, and yells out the window..."Nice tits!" Now that's classy...is it bad that I laughed?

More Annoying Cheerfulness...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 30 Mar 2005 22:42:00 +0000

I promise, I'll stop soon. I'm reaching the point where I'm starting to annoy myself, but I can't help it.

I'm sitting on my balcony right now (love the laptop and wireless internet, but it's really hard to see the screen outside). We have a tiny balcony...probably about 4'x7', just enough room for 2 chairs and a little table. I rushed home from work, changed into summery clothes, ate my dinner out here, and am now relaxing with my computer and debating whether or not I'm motivated enough to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.

You'd think my joy in this weather would be at least somewhat diminished by the knowledge that it's supposed to start raining tonight and cool down to the 40s and 50s for the next week, but it isn't. It's 73, and I'm celebrating spring! I think I'm going to take a walk...

Best Monday Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:13:00 +0000

Driving home from work, 85 miles an hour, windows rolled down, wind in my hair...today was a gorgeous day! I found myself running errands all day, just to get out of my office. When I got off work, instead of changing into jeans and a t-shirt and carrying a fleece blanket around the apartment, I was sitting on the balcony in shorts and a halter. I love spring! :-D

(I have a feeling my moods are much too easily influenced by the weather. I should move to Hawaii or Arizona or something. I'd probably get a bit annoying, though.)

I visited my parents again this weekend. I had originally planned on going home for both my birthday and Easter, not realizing how close they were this year. After going up for my birthday, I hadn't planned on returning for Easter, but I changed my mind kind of last-minute. I thought a change of scenery might be a good thing since I've been so stressed lately. Both of my parents had the weekend off, so I talked to them a bit about my plans to move. Actual comments:

Dad: You know, you could always move back home. and do what, go back to delivering pizzas?
Mom: I've heard the cost of living in New York is pretty high. um...you think?
Dad: Why would you want to live in the city? I hate cities. I'm not you?
Dad: Do you plan on getting a job before you move? as if I wouldn't!
Mom: You know, you could always move back home. I think I'd rather be homeless...

Sarah was coming back from visiting Tim (again) on Saturday. She got pulled over twice on the way up...both times, she was going less than 5 over the speed limit. Warnings both times, although she'll need four more to catch up to me. :-b

Sarah and I both got new cell phones in early August. She was looking at her total calling time, so I decided to check mine and compare. She's talked for over 400 hours. I have 27. I stopped by the store today and downgraded my plan.

And finally, a stock tip: whatever company makes Kleenex. My purchases alone have probably kept them in business all winter. I don't have a cold, and I'm not sick. Can my nose stop dripping now? Please???

Back to "Normal"

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 09:03:00 +0000

Just a quick post, because I really should be sleeping now, but I figured since last night was the venting of all hostility and evil thoughts, today can be the venting of happiness or something...

So Julianne (my roommate...read yesterday's post for background) and I just got done having one of the longest conversations we've ever had. She was going to bed at midnight, and we started kind of talking, and it's now 3:48 a.m. and she just went to bed and I'm typing at my computer.

(Random thought I should discuss further in the future...all the best conversations I've had with people have either been in a car on a long trip or late at night. Why is that?)

We actually did briefly discuss her attitude yesterday, although I didn't really mention how it affected me. And I think, looking back, that I was more upset at myself that I was hurt by her actions than I was upset at her for actually being mad. As I think I've said before, I'm insane. I am aware of that fact, though, and that should count for something. She's under unbelievable stress at work, and she has realized that she's redirecting some of it at me, and she's now using my healthy avoidance technique.

What I've learned since yesterday:
Tired and emotional Julianne, combined with tired and sick Elizabeth, is not a good thing.
I obviously care about her more than I was aware...the only other people whose anger can affect me like this are my family.
The stress of her moving to Houston (now definitely happening in July) and me moving to NYC (in July or August if I get into NYU, but still happening this year even if I don't get in) has caused both of us to be more emotional than usual.

So things are back to "normal." What's weird, and we brought this up tonight, as we do every time we have a conversation regarding living with people, is that we are total opposites. And yet we get along better than I've gotten along with any other roommate (there have been 10 others since I started college). We were talking tonight about the fact that in Houston she'll be living alone, and I'll need to find a roommate to afford to live in New York, and while it's kind of scary to think of finding another person to live with, I think throughout the drama I've experienced with all my former roommates (there has been quite a lot), I've finally learned how to get along with a roommate.

When we first escaped from the dorms (and the Ashleys...to be explained in future post) we set up some ground rules. Anything just affecting one of us is our decision, and the other has no impact on it. Anything involving both of us, either one has complete veto power. There is compromise, but it's completely voluntary. The "rules" were set up primarily for decorating the apartment, but we've applied them to basically everything about living together. And while you wouldn't know it by last night's post, there has been very little tension in the 17 months we've lived together. Which, considering the situations both of us have been in with former roommates, is pretty amazing.

So this was supposed to be a short post, and it's obviously not (I don't think I'm capable of a short post about anything of any significance), I just wanted to say that yes, last night was bad, but life is still pretty good. :o)

Venting

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 04:47:00 +0000

Most people who know me are probably not aware of it, but I have a pretty bad temper. The only people who've ever really had the joy of experiencing it are my family (aren't they lucky!). I don't get mad easily, and I rarely hold a grudge, but there are certain buttons that, when pressed, are guaranteed to set me off. I'm a very nice person most of the time, but when I'm mad, watch out. Afterwards, I can never believe how incredibly cruel I can be. Know those things you think to say, but you'd never actually say them? I've done it. Can't really take that stuff back.

Since I moved away from home, though, I don't really express my anger much. I don't know if it's just the idea that you can say anything to your family and they still have to love you, but my family members are really the only people I don't feel the need to edit myself around. When I get mad here, I just kind of bottle it up until I can take care of it myself. One thing I try very hard to never do, though, is put my anger from one situation onto someone else.

I'm not really feeling well today...not actually sick, just a combination of a cold and too many late nights lately. I got home from work, ate dinner, and lay down for a nap hoping to feel better. I got up around 9, not long after my roommate got home. I said hi and asked how her day was (same thing I do every day when I first see her), and she snapped at me. Okay...thinking if I did anything to upset her, not coming up with anything, but whatever. I kept kind of quiet, then tested the waters again. More hostility.

I had gotten up to watch American Idol, so I turned on the tv, hoping she'd either go into her room or get over whatever was bothering her. She sniped around for another few minutes, then I kind of gradually eased her out of the bad mood, and she admitted that she had had a horrible day at work. Now, I honestly feel bad for her. She works in a day care program, and is surrounded by preschoolers all day (pretty much my definition of hell). And she had a parent yelling at her about something that wasn't her fault, so it's totally understandable that she'd be upset. But is it really fair for her to take it out on me?

I know I overreact to this. Both of my parents act the same way, and I've always been one of the few kids in the family able to get either of them out of a bad mood. I'm kind of a different person at home...much sillier, more outrageous, saying things just for the shock value. I act that way mainly to get attention (it can be hard with 8 people in the house), but also because I can usually make my parents laugh when they're mad. I can usually tell what it'll take to get someone out of a bad mood...whether they need to laugh, just complain, or have someone listen seriously for a minute. And I can be that person. I just hate it when I have to be.

When I have a bad day, I'll whine about it a little, but always in a joking way. If I'm mad at something, or I know I'm in a bad mood, I'll stay in my room or read a book or get on my computer. Just anything to calm me down a little so I'm not spreading the negativity around. Is it too much to ask for the same courtesy in return?

It's difficult to hurt my feelings. There are very few people I care enough about to even give them the power to affect me, and even those people have limited spheres of influence. I'm confident in myself, and I'm secure in my choices and decisions. So you'd think I could handle it when people are mad. This is just one of those things, though...for some reason, my first assumption is that I've done something wrong, and then I feel the compulsion to fix the situation, because of course that's my responsibility.

I have a list somewhere of characteristics I'd look for in a potential relationship. I first made the list a while ago, and it's gone through quite a few edits and rewrites. One of the first things on the list, though, and one that's never changed. I could never be with someone who expresses anger badly. It scares me, and it makes me weak, and I hate that feeling. I try not to be that person, and all it takes is a few sentences, and I'm automatically making myself the victim.

I'm not even reading through this again before posting it...I'm sure it's not very coherent, just my rambling emotional thoughts. I'm not really much of an emotional person; I stay pretty much on an even keel. So I guess I'm entitled to a long incoherent post when it happens. I apologize to anyone who read this far hoping for any kind of meaning or resolution. Just venting, I guess. Helped to write it down. Have a great day! :o)

P.S. I'm ever so grateful for my laptop and my wireless router. I've been hiding in my room all evening. And now I'm going to bed...

It's Spring!

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 22 Mar 2005 19:14:00 +0000

It's a beautiful day; the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

I just checked the forecast, and I believe spring has finally arrived! The high temperature for the next 10 days is at least 40 every day. The snow we got last week (apparently winter's last effort) is melting. I can't wait to get off work and change into something summery.

Kinda funny how standards of what is warm change by the season...if it were 45 in the middle of summer, I'd be shivering, whining, and wearing a coat and sweater. It hits 45 now, and I'm outside in a t-shirt and flip-flops. :o)

GMAT Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 22 Mar 2005 04:56:00 +0000

I've never been stressed before about taking a standardized test. I had to take them every year while I was in school, so I have quite a bit of experience. I've always been good at taking these tests, and I was testing at a post-high school level in most subjects by the second or third grade. I got a 35 on the ACT and a 1590 on the SAT. Not that I'm a genius or anything, but apparently the way they ask questions is the way I think or something. So I really shouldn't have been nervous at all...

I didn't sleep more than 3 hours a single night last week. I think I ate at most one meal a day. I had one of the worst migraines I've had in months. Not exactly the best feeling in the world going into a rather important test, but I tried to ignore it. I tried to call home and talk to someone to calm down as I was driving to the testing facility, but no one was home. I almost didn't find the building. I finally got in, signed all the confidentiality forms, and put my purse in a locker. I was actually shaking by the time I sat down at the computer to start the test.

The first section of the test was the writing part...the part I had been most worried about. I think I wrote the two shortest essays they'll be getting; hopefully being concise counts for something. I just couldn't think of much to say about either of their topics. I'm a multiple-choice person, not essay.

The second section was quantitative. Math has always been one of my favorite subjects. My senior year in high school, I was taking a calculus class and an accounting class in the same hour just because I could. That was five years ago. Except for accounting, which is really more about spreadsheets than anything else, I was exempt from taking any math classes in college. You'd be surprised at how much you can forget in 5 years.

I wasn't worried at all about the verbal section. I never had many classes in writing or literature, but all throughout elementary school, junior high, and high school, I had a spelling, vocabulary, and grammar class every year. I was referred to as a "Grammar Nazi" by a roommate's professor after he saw a paper of hers I had edited. This part of the test was actually pretty easy...except for the fact that by this point I was trying not to fall asleep.

Because the test is taken on a computer, you can see your quantitative, verbal, and total scores right away. Before seeing my scores, I had to decide whether or not to report them. Basically, you can just decide it wasn't worth it (before seeing what you got!!), click a button, and the $250 you paid and the 4 hours you spent on the test are gone. I wonder if anyone really does that? I was actually somewhat tempted.

Top score is 800; most people get a 400-600. Average at NYU's MBA program is 700. I was hoping for at least a 750, based on my previous test results. After taking the test, I had no idea how well I had done. I got a 740. Nice to know I got so incredibly stressed over nothing. And now my big debate is whether or not to retake it...I know I could do better now that I know what to expect, and I could work on my math a little more. I wouldn't be stressed going into it, since there's no way I could be in any worse condition to take it.

I'm insane.

It's Been a Week?

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Sun, 20 Mar 2005 09:40:00 +0000

It's been kind of a while since I've posted. I haven't been online much; I'll need to catch up on some stuff (especially e-mail, sorry if anyone has sent me something). It's been quite the week...I'll attempt to give a summary.

*****

First, last weekend...

I got lost on my way home (not like I've made this trip at least 50 times in the last 5 years or anything).

Deborah is growing tadpoles in my room for a science fair project.

My dad has worked literally every day so far this year...I saw him like twice.

Becca and Benjamin skipped my birthday party to go to a hockey game--not the first time this has happened.

My cousin Nicole is 4 months pregnant, and this is the first time I've seen her that she's been really showing...she was my best friend growing up; it's still odd to see her married, much less pregnant.

I saw my cousin Brad for the first time since he got back from Iraq in mid-February. :-D

I'd been thinking about it for a while, but after talking to some of my family about it, I made the decision to apply to NYU for grad school, instead of moving there after finishing school here in Michigan.

So it was quite the eventful weekend. It was wonderful being home and seeing everyone, but for someone who lives with one roommate in a very quiet apartment, it's always an adjustment. I think I slept a total of like 7 hours. Made the drive back here rather unpleasant; I have no idea how I used to stay awake on that trip before I got my phone.

*****

Now, this week...

On Monday, we had a problem at work. An automatic daily process didn't run, which basically caused me to lose an entire day's worth of work as well as having to manually run the process and fix the errors, which from prior experience I knew would take the rest of the week to finish. I got a migraine (kind of expecting it; I usually get one after the long drive, and the stressful weekend didn't exactly help).

On Tuesday, Gabe, a good friend I hadn't seen in a while, stopped by my office to tell me he'd be leaving for a year in Japan next Wednesday.

On Wednesday, I really started thinking about grad school, as well as the fact that I was taking the GMAT (test to get into grad school) on Friday and hadn't yet exactly prepared. My roommate got a job offer in Houston.

On Thursday, we had a going-away party for Gabe, and I ended up staying out way later than I should have.

On Friday, I went in to work for the morning, hoping it would help me keep my mind off the test. I tried to eat lunch and almost threw up. I then took the test (summary of that later), called my family with the results, came home and crashed. I slept from 4-10, got up, and went back to bed at 3.

Today, I woke up at 3 p.m. (that's 18 hours of sleep since yesterday afternoon) and never really did anything. I spent most of the day watching tv and eating, only leaving the couch to make cookies. I don't think I handle stress well...

Disgustingly Cheerful

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 11 Mar 2005 17:57:00 +0000

Know what makes me happy?

It's a beautiful sunny day.

Know what makes me even happier?

I get to leave work early.

Know what makes me happiest?

I'm going home this weekend.

It's a good day! :-D

Meet the Family

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 11 Mar 2005 06:07:00 +0000

I'm visiting my family this weekend, and I have a feeling their names might show up when I post, so I thought I'd give a little introduction.

My parents met and married in college in Colorado. They dropped out for financial reasons when my mom got pregnant with my older sister. They moved back to my dad's hometown where my dad got a "temporary" job at a factory. He's been working there now for 22 years. My mom stayed at home while I was growing up, but she got a job at the same pizza place where I was working the summer after my freshman year of college. (I'd highly recommend not working with your mom...) My mom grew up in India where her parents were Baptist medical missionaries. My dad grew up in a small town in Michigan and wanted to be a pastor. As a pretty liberal semi-agnostic, I'm their example of how they've failed in parenting. (I know that probably makes it sound like I hate them or something...really, I don't. I love my parents very much, and I know they love me, we just don't really understand each other. Let's just say we get along much better long-distance.)

Now the siblings, all of whom live with the parents...

Rebecca (Becca) is 23. She's currently in her 6th year of undergraduate college. She's on her 3rd or 4th major; I think she's now double-majoring in accounting and physical training. She's talking about transferring schools and moving out. I think she's afraid to grow up. She and I were best friends as kids (basically I tagged along with whatever she did), hated each other as teens, and got pretty close when I left for college. She teaches Sunday School at my parents' church.

(I fit in here. Read my list of 100 things about me if you're curious...although I'll warn you that I'm kind of boring.)

Benjamin is 20. He dropped out of college (he was commuting to the school Becca goes to) after one semester and is now training to be a mechanic. He's very into hunting and fishing. He has a girlfriend named Heidi who he's been dating for a few years, and they'll probably get married when she graduates from high school. He's pretty much an exact copy of my dad. We don't really have much of a relationship...we have practically nothing in common.

Sarah is 18. She's kind of everyone's favorite...I've mentioned her a few times before. She's always been "the cute one" in the family...big blue eyes, dimples, bubbly personality, etc. She's an amazing soccer player. She actually left home for college here in Grand Rapids on a soccer scholarship, but moved back home and is now taking classes online. She has a serious boyfriend (Tim, who lives in Illinois) and will probably be married within a year. She also teaches Sunday School at my parents' church.

Faith is 16 (almost 17). Think Phoebe from Friends...tall, thin, long blonde hair, and somewhat of a stereotypical "dumb blonde." She's very musically talented, especially on the piano, and plans on pursuing music in college. She also has the stereotypical artistic moodiness, and can be very interesting to be around at times.

Deborah is 15. She's incredibly intelligent. She's also very quiet and hides in her room reading all the time. She was kind of chubby as a kid, in a family where everyone except my dad is quite thin, and I think she's kind of shy now because of it, although she's not at all overweight now. I have a feeling she'll end up writing a best-selling book about growing up in a family of craziness...she kind of sits quietly on the sidelines and observes everything.

So...um...there's the family. Reading over this post, we're even stranger than I thought, although in a very boring way. I'm kind of an anomaly in the group, although I think some of the younger ones will probably take after me a little. I know Faith and Deborah are at least planning on leaving home for college...it's a start! I should also note that everyone in our family has always been rather intelligent, although it's not always applied well. Benjamin's the only one of us who didn't get straight A's all through school, and he could have if he had cared about it. My parents were always very strict about being called by our full names, so none of us except Becca go by any nicknames...I'm not sure why, but they've always called her that.

Two Questions and a Minor Rant

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 01:23:00 +0000

My parents' 25th anniversary is March 15. They're rather difficult to buy for, and I have no idea what to get them. For Christmas, I gave them movie passes and a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant so they could go out on a date. They both work strange hours, so they could save the certificates for a time that worked best for them. They really liked the gift, and since I can't think of anything to get them for their anniversary, I was thinking of doing the same thing again. Would that be weird? I know it's a special anniversary, but I can't think of anything else. None of my siblings have any ideas either. Suggestions are welcome! :o)

For my birthday, instead of presents my family will be giving me money so I can get a digital camera. I know absolutely nothing about digital photography...I'd love to hear suggestions of camera brands and models. I don't plan on doing anything special with the camera (just basic snapshots), and I imagine I'll probably be on a somewhat limited budget.

Now for the rant...

I really shouldn't complain, but I'm getting very tired of this semi-winter/semi-spring thing we have going on right now. It's been wonderful to have sunlight, but for the past few days we've had the most random weather...from sunny blue skies to snow and back to sunny blue skies within 15 minutes. A sudden whiteout snowstorm caused a 90-car pileup a few miles from my apartment yesterday morning. It was over 50 degrees on Sunday, and today we had a high of like 23. Can it just be spring? Please???

Birthday...

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Wed, 09 Mar 2005 04:56:00 +0000

Today was a good day...

*****

When my siblings and I were kids, my mom would always wake us up on our birthdays with a candle we had that played "Happy Birthday" when you set it down. It was always my favorite part of my birthday...I'd usually be awake, but I'd pretend to be asleep so she could wake me up.

I've been having my mom call me at 7:15 every morning for the past few weeks to make sure I'm awake. I have an amazing ability to sleep through both of my alarm clocks, and it helps ensure I get up in time for work. (Obviously I'm a very mature adult.) This morning, I got up early at 6:45 and was almost ready to leave by the time she called.

I answered the phone, and she was singing "Happy Birthday." Nice start for the day. :o)

*****

My dad and I don't really talk on the phone often. Actually, the only phone calls from him I can remember in recent memory are when he called me in October to tell me my grandpa had passed away and when he called me after Christmas to thank me for the gift I gave him, when I didn't recognize his voice on the phone (third paragraph in linked post).

I was having a pretty bad day at work today; it seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong did. Around 1:30, I got a call on my cell from my parents' house. It was my dad...he had just gotten up for work and wanted to tell me happy birthday. We actually talked for about 20 minutes, which is the longest conversation I've ever had with him on the phone (excluding car repair discussions).

*****

My cousin Heather is staying with me this week while she's on spring break. When I got off work, she and my roommate (Julianne) took me out to dinner. They had the waiters sing to me...first time I've ever had that happen. I'm kind of surprised that I wasn't embarrassed; I just laughed the whole time.

When we got home, we had cheesecake (picture 22 candles in a 6-inch Sara Lee cheesecake) and I opened presents. Heather gave me a book and a DVD, and Julianne gave me a pillow shaped like a Reese's peanut butter cup package! Is it sad that it's like my favorite gift ever? :-D

*****

My brother Benjamin actually called me to tell me happy birthday...I don't think he's ever called me before. We had the most awkward 15-minute phone conversation ever. Then Sarah (mentioned here and here) called me and we talked for a while. It was good to talk to her, we haven't actually caught each other on the phone in at least a week.

*****

Also, I wasn't expecting very good weather at all; according to the forecast, it was supposed to be cloudy and snowing off and on all day. Instead, the day was mostly sunny with these random occasional snow showers. Very weird to see it snowing and sunny at the same time. Definitely helps with the winter doldrums!

*****

It's weird not to be 21 any more. It was just kind of a fun age to be. I have a feeling 22 will be just as fun, though! I love birthdays! :o)

21 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Tue, 08 Mar 2005 04:20:00 +0000

Last March...my senior year and my final spring break. I traveled to Florida for spring break my sophomore year, but that was the only time I had been able to go anywhere but home. I was turning 21 over break, and I really wanted to celebrate my birthday somewhere other than my hometown.

My cousin Heather was a sophomore at the same school, and she had an aunt with a condo in Florida we could stay in for free. We talked about going there, but didn't really make concrete plans.

At the time, I was driving a '92 Buick Skylark. It was a high school graduation gift from my parents, and it had caused me nothing but misery from the time I had gotten it. I have an embarrassingly long list of stories I could tell of times it broke down. In January, it had died while I was visiting my parents, so I left it at home for repairs and rode back to school with Heather, who also lives in my hometown.

Because I lived off campus, Heather was letting me use her car while mine was being fixed. We were headed out to a movie in early February when the driver in front of us slammed on his brakes. I was driving, and I managed to stop before hitting him, but the woman behind us didn't see us at all and hit us at about 50 mph. Heather's car was totaled. Our dads drove down in my car and took hers back up north (it was still drivable).

We were a little nervous at the prospect of taking my car on such a long drive, but we couldn't afford to fly and we couldn't find anyone else who wanted to go with us. We looked into renting a car, but neither of us was old enough. So we decided to just try it with my car; if it died on the way we'd try to take a bus or something home. We were pretty much just desperate to escape somewhere warm.

Two weeks before spring break, my car died again. This time, it seemed rather permanent. After getting it fixed pretty much every 2 months for 4 years, I had given up. I decided to just buy another car; I had been thinking about it for a while, and I could use my spring break money for a down payment.

I shopped around online and went to 3 or 4 dealerships (met one guy who was the stereotypical used car salesman), but ended up finding a car at a dealership owned by a classmate's dad. It was a 2000 Ford Focus...bright red, very cute, and pretty low mileage. I checked up on the model online, and it had some of the highest safety ratings in its class. It was $5,100, well within my budget. I decided on the car on the Thursday before spring break started, but I was having a little trouble getting financing, and I didn't end up picking the car up until 9:00 Saturday morning.

I drove back to my apartment from the dealership and packed for my trip home. It was snowing, so I decided to wait and leave in the morning rather than driving an unfamiliar car in bad weather.

I was very excited about my new car. Throughout the afternoon, I kept looking out the window at it. I called home and told everyone about it. I read the owner's manual cover to cover (I'm not kidding...insane, I know). I thought of it as an early birthday present for myself, since my birthday was on Monday. I wanted to get home in time for church with my parents, so I could show off my car to everyone there. I decided to leave at 5 a.m. on Sunday in order to get there by 11.

As I left Grand Rapids, the roads were pretty bad. I'm comfortable driving in snow, but slush and ice are a little more dangerous. My grandparents have a second home (known to the whole family as the farm) in a really small town about an hour north of Grand Rapids. I decided to stop there for a while and wait for the roads to clear up.

Five miles from my exit, I lost control of my car. I was only going about 40 miles an hour, but the car started spinning and I quickly recognized I wouldn't be able to get it back under control. After spinning 2 or 3 times, I hit a small sign and then started rolling down a hill. The car rolled twice and ended up at the bottom of the hill, about 5 feet from some large trees.

My only conscious thought through the entire accident was that I couldn't believe I was wrecking my new car. I wasn't scared at all...I was mad. It didn't even occur to me that I could get hurt.

Once the car stopped, I sat there for a minute kind of in shock. I was covered in broken glass from my window. The car was still running, so I turned it off. I called my parents first to see what I should do. My mom answered the phone, and I told her that I was ok, but I had been in an accident. She said my dad was on his way and to call 911. They told me the police were on my way and to wait by the road. It was 6 a.m....21 hours since I had gotten the car.

My door wouldn't open and the other side of the car was kind of angled into the ground, so I climbed out through the broken window (I felt very adventurous). I stepped out into a foot of snow...wearing a skirt and heels. I climbed up the hill to the road, and a few minutes later a couple stopped and offered to let me sit in their car while I was waiting for the police. I said no at first, but I was really cold, and they seemed pretty nice, so I got in. It ended up that the guy was originally from my hometown (small world).

When the police officer showed up, he called a tow truck, and after getting the details of the accident he decided not to give me a ticket. Highly unusual in a single-car accident, but I have a feeling that my story helped. It being the day before my birthday, and my second day driving a new car, he probably felt sorry for me.

The tow truck arrived, and after I declined medical attention, the police officer gave me a ride to the farm. Since no one was staying there at the time, the house was completely cold and the water wasn't turned on. I curled up under a pile of blankets on the couch and fell asleep. I woke up to my dad shaking my shoulder...he had been out the door less than 10 minutes after I called and made the 5 hour trip, on bad roads, in a little over 4 hours.

I wasn't even sore when I woke up the next morning. My only injury was a tiny cut on my pinkie finger, probably from climbing through the window. Altogether, I had quite the spring break. I spent most of my time on the phone with my insurance company and trying to figure out how to get another car as soon as possible. My insurance company settled on Friday for $6,200. I used the money to buy another car. A red 2000 Ford Focus, slightly nicer than the first one. It's been a year today...haven't broken this one yet! :o)

Inspired by Insomnia

noreply@blogger.com (Elizabeth) — Fri, 04 Mar 2005 07:11:00 +0000

I've been meaning to look into Firefox for quite a while now, but I kept putting it off. I've never really had any problems with IE, but I had heard so much about Firefox I wanted to check it out.

So it's 2 a.m., and I can't sleep, so what do I do? Download Firefox, of course.

For those of you who haven't looked into it, I'd highly recommend at least checking it out. Many fun features...my favorites so far are the tabs and the search features.

At least I'm being somewhat productive...