Am I There Yet?

...

2005-08-21T00:43:00.001-04:00

My skin is still crawling. Just thought you should know.

Where's a little brother when you need one?

I'll Never Sleep Again

2005-08-21T00:27:00.000-04:00

There's this random pipe running from the ceiling in my bedroom down to the floor, and it's right next to my bed. So I was just sitting here, calmly reading a magazine, when I glanced to my right and saw the BIGGEST most DISGUSTING at least 2-inch long centipede thing run down the pipe. I don't know where it came from, and I have no idea where it went.

I think I may sleep on the futon in the living room tonight.

The Weekend has Arrived...

2005-08-20T20:23:00.000-04:00

...and I'm still as boring as ever. :-b

I didn't really accomplish much of anything today. Read for a while, walked around for a while, visited ground zero (looks almost exactly the same as it did a year ago when I was here), got blisters from wearing stupid shoes, came home, and read again.

I was in bed reading by 10 last night, and it's not even 8:30 and I'm kind of thinking of doing the same thing tonight. I definitely need to start going out and actually doing stuff, or this isn't going to be much different from Grand Rapids. I need to make some friends here who I can tag along with. :o)

Day 4

2005-08-19T23:49:00.000-04:00

I didn't exactly meet my deadline for unpacking, but I'm satisfied with how much I finished. Just a few bags left, which I hope I'll be motivated enough to finish tomorrow. I think the worst part about this move is that I know that I'll be moving all this stuff again in less than a year. I hope the memory of this move will be fresh enough in my mind by then that I'll be a little more organized with the packing. Somehow, though, I doubt it.

Today, I ventured out to Brooklyn for the first time. Somewhat. I went straight from the subway into Target (the subway station is in the same building) and back into the subway. I did, however, find cheap groceries in Target. So maybe I'll have to explore elsewhere in Brooklyn.

Words cannot express my love for The Container Store. Seriously. It's as if it was designed with every one of my OCD tendencies in mind. I'm one of those annoying people who finds organizing things fun. So I forsee the location of this store (just a few blocks down the street) as a potential financial problem. I think I'll just avoid that area altogether, at least until I have a job. :o)

The internet guy finally called back today, and he can't be out here to set up our connection until next Thursday. The unsecured connections I've been getting lately have become even more intermittent. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time in the next few days in the tea shop with free wireless.

I'm So Consistent...

2005-08-19T12:09:00.000-04:00

See how well I do when I resolve to blog daily? Lasted 2 days. I should be so proud. Anyway, I accomplished nothing, really, yesterday. Got a little banking done, but stayed in the apartment reading for most of the day. I think I just needed a break, because today I am motivated again to finish the unpacking. The intermittent rain outside is probably a big part of that motivation, too. :-b

Still stealing one of our neighbors' internet. Actually, rotating between 3 or 4 unsecured signals that my laptop can detect. Does no one know how to set up a password? It's kinda spotty, but I guess it'll do until the internet guy calls me back. I haven't had enough consistent access yet, though, to check the weather. I think that'll be my priority for the next time I get online.

Little side-note: I cut my hair off a week or so before I came here. I just got sick of having long hair, and I figured since I was changing homes and (hopefully) changing jobs I'd change my look at the same time. Having had long hair all my life, I had never experienced bedhead. I'm sure my hair got messed up or whatever when I slept, but it was long enough that it just kind of settled down anyway. Today, I woke up with a mohawk. And since I'm unpacking, I haven't yet showered and fixed it (no point in getting all nice and clean and then getting all sweaty and gross again hauling boxes and stuff around). So I currently have this lovely flat-on-one-side-kinda-crazy-on-the-other mohawk thing going on. I need a digital camera. Although, maybe it's a good thing I don't have one...don't know if I really want photographic evidence of this.

I Feel Evil...

2005-08-18T00:35:00.000-04:00

I'm stealing someone's internet. I turned my laptop on in my apartment last night to check up on some information I had stored, and I didn't have any wireless signal. I moved my bed this afternoon, because I figured out a way to better utilize the space in my bedroom, and now I have wireless! I guess this is what they get for leaving their network name as "linksys" and having it unsecured. :-b

I feel quite prolific--3 posts in one day. I wonder how long I'll keep it up?

Day 2

2005-08-17T20:50:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a little more settled today. Much less emotional chaos, which is a very good thing.

I haven't really accomplished much today in the way of unpacking. I did get 3-4 more boxes unpacked, and I bought bed risers so now I can store more under my bed. I think I've gotten to the point where I'll be able to fit everything I brought.

I'm finding the transitions I've gone through lately to be very unsettling. I went from living in a nice apartment with a good friend and being very financially stable, to living at home with my parents and siblings making pizzas for a little over minimum wage, to living in a tiny apartment with a girl I don't know at all in a huge city with no job. I'm a person who very much enjoys stability. I think once I have a job, and get to the point where I have established some habits, I'll feel a lot more settled. Until then, I'm just trying to live day-by-day.

On the job front, I've been mainly looking for jobs online. I signed up on monster.com, hotjobs.yahoo.com, and a few other sites. I started looking a few months ago, and I quickly realized that with my generalized degree and lack of experience, I'm not exactly the most desirable job candidate. I have applied to a few jobs, and when I didn't hear back from most of my applications, I signed up on a few sites for temp office workers. I'm hoping to get a job with one of those firms. If I don't, I have seen quite a few "Now Hiring" signs in stores in my neighborhood, and while I really don't want to waste more time in a job that isn't giving me valid resume experience, I do need to make money. We'll see how everything pans out, but right now I'm trying to stay optimistic. This is a very expensive place to live with no income.

My goal for getting everything unpacked and being settled in is to be done by Friday. I've told myself that if I am done by the weekend, I will completely ignore the job search and just have a fun, relaxing weekend. It's been pretty good motivation so far, although I do have quite a few errands to run in the next few days.

One of the biggest differences I've noticed here is the lack of grocery stores. Do most residents shop in those tiny, expensive shops that have a limited selection of stuff, or are there hidden grocery stores I'm not seeing? I think I'll have to do a little more exploring for stuff like this. Fortunately, I brought a lot of non-perishable food from home, so I think I'll be living on pasta and soup until I can find affordable groceries.

As for the internet situation, I'm sitting right now in a tea shop called the Tea Spot that has free wireless access. I stumbled on it a few blocks away from my apartment. I'm hoping to get internet access set up in my apartment tomorrow. I feel really cut off from the world not having access on a regular basis. Does that make me an addict? Anyway, I should get out of here soon. I have a feeling the one slice of cheesecake I bought probably doesn't entitle me to use the internet for too long. :o)

Oops...

2005-08-17T20:31:00.000-04:00

I thought I had posted the item that I just reposted (marked June 3), but I guess I forgot. It contains most of the explanations for my current situation.

Fast Forward...

2005-08-16T23:06:00.000-04:00

As I type this, I'm lying in my bed in my tiny bedroom in my apartment in New York. I guess the only word to describe my feelings right now is overwhelmed.

After months of planning and chaos, I've finally moved. Having been a rather intermittent blogger before, I've decided to make an effort to journal my "adventures" as I move from Michigan to NYC. I'm writing this tonight (8/16), and I'll try to post it tomorrow. I'm hoping to get internet access set up tomorrow, but if not I'll try to find a cafe or something with wireless. I have too much to do online to be without internet access for long.

Currently, my stuff is about halfway unpacked. I've realized that I definitely brought too much stuff, and I'm debating the pros and cons of throwing stuff away versus sending it to my parents to store until I live somewhere where I have room for it. Fortunately, there's room enough for all of the essentials, and I think I'll be able to come up with ways to store most of the stuff I have.

After telling people countless times that I would definitely not move until I found a job...I have no job. I'm trying to avoid completely stressing out about this situation, while still maintaining the urgency I need to find a job. I do have enough money to pay next month's rent with no income, and while I would hate to borrow from my parents, I know they'd be willing to help with the next month's if necessary. I also have the advantage of being willing to do almost anything, as long as it'll pay the bills. I'm applying to very entry-level jobs, hoping to find something that'll give me opportunities for advancement.

I have been staying with my family for the last month, and they brought me out here, so when they drove away today I got pretty emotional. My city-hating family actually drove here, in a truck, pulling a U-Haul, with my sister following in her car. It was quite the interesting trip. My apartment is just a few blocks north of the Holland tunnel, so we had planned on taking that. We got to the area where you pay the toll, and they wouldn't let us through with the trailer. They actually stopped traffic through the rest of the toll booths so we could get across and onto a road that would lead us to the Lincoln tunnel. Once we got there, we had to navigate our way through much more of the city than we had planned on driving through. Fortunately, there were no accidents. I have a feeling, though, that my dad will never visit me again.

Overall, I think I'm more exhausted, both physically and emotionally, than anything else right now. I'm going to bed much earlier than usual, and I hope I'll be able to finish unpacking tomorrow. I really think that getting everything put away will help me feel much more at home. Hopefully once things settle down a little I'll get my excitement about living here back. Right now, to be honest, all I want to do is erase the last 48 hours and be back at home.

She Lives! (2)

2005-06-20T14:49:00.000-04:00

*blush* I know, I know. I'm a terrible blogger. I resolve to do better. :o)

I'm actually not posting much today...just using up some of my last minutes of internet access here waiting for a download to finish.

I have discovered that I am, indeed, the most boring person in the universe. Case in point: I'm currently in NYC, apartment-hunting (which was successful! I'll post more about that later.) . We're here for a week (6/16-6/23), and we signed a lease on the second day. Most people would then take advantage of 5 days in NY and actually, you know, do stuff. I've spent the past few days reading in Central Park during the day and reading in my apartment at night. I've spent the last 2 hours catching up on all my 'net stuff in a Starbucks. My plans for the afternoon are to return to my apartment...probably to read. Maybe I'll hop on the subway and go up to Central Park instead, and actually take advantage of the sunlight. When I actually move here (the date is still not definite, although we do have an apartment now), I'll have to make myself actually go out and do something on occasion. :-b

She Lives!

2005-06-03T19:11:00.000-04:00

The URL of this blog is "life on pause," and one of my earliest posts describes my reasons for choosing this name. Basically, my life was kind of stuck in one place and didn't seem to be doing anything. I was hoping at some point to hit play and get on with it. I think I kind of missed play and went straight to fast-forward.

One of my least favorite things about myself is my fear of change. I remember as a kid crying when my mom moved the furniture in my room. I thought I had gotten over this fear of change a little, but I've realized in the last few months that I really haven't. I did the most gradual move to Grand Rapids possible...starting out living in the dorms and going home every summer, then moving into an apartment my senior year and finally sticking around the summer after I graduated. Instead of looking around for jobs after graduation, I stuck with the one I had been working at since my sophomore year (although I did get a raise and more responsibility). I've basically lived my life so far in a way that specifically avoids making any major decisions. And then I kind of accidentally made one, and things have been snowballing from there.

It started out last summer. My roommate and I were watching a tennis match (Wimbledon, I believe), and she had the idea that we could go see the US Open. We looked into getting tickets, and discovered that it was located in New York City. Over Labor Day weekend, we drove out to New York. We hit the major tourist spots during the day and watched tennis matches at night. Over 2 days, I completely fell in love.

I've been planning on grad school since I finished my undergrad degree, but I was kind of putting it off. Most grad school credits don't transfer, so I didn't want to start somewhere I didn't plan on living for the next 2 years of my life. I had stayed in Grand Rapids because my favorite sister was planning on going to college here, but it was quickly looking like she wouldn't be staying, and I had no real reason to stick around. My job was getting boring, and I decided I didn't want to attend WMU, which was where I had been planning on getting my MBA. I have no idea where the idea of applying to NYU came into my mind, but once I thought of it the idea just stuck in my head. I looked into it and found that it was way beyond my budget, but I decided to apply anyway. I figured if I got in I'd just add to my student loans and hope for a good job once I graduated. (Either that, of course, or declare bankruptcy.) :-b I applied to the part-time program, planning on working full-time regardless of whether or not I was accepted.

When I was looking into attending NYU, I started talking to people about potential roommates and apartments. If I got in, I wanted to be able to make the move with a minimum of chaos, and lining things up early seemed like a good idea. A coworker had a friend starting law school at Cardozo (conveniently right down the road from NYU), and she and I met and seemed to get along pretty well. After talking a few times, I decided to move, regardless of whether or not I was accepted at NYU.

In the middle of May, in a meeting with my boss, I found out that my position would be ending on June 21. It was basically a temporary position to assist with a system conversion at the school, so I had known that when the conversion was over my job as I knew it would be done, but I hadn't really expected to lose the job completely. I had gone through multiple transitions of job responsibilities since I started as a student worker 3 years before, but due to budgetary concerns there wasn't enough reason to justify keeping me. My sister left the school after the fall semester, and I had no reason to stay in Grand Rapids.

So the situation now:

The planning team revised the conversion date. My last day of work here is June 14.

My new roommate (Megan) and I are headed to New York from June 16-23 to look for apartments.

I'm trying to schedule job interviews in NY, hopefully during the week I'm there.

I haven't yet found out if I got in at NYU. I'm not entirely confident...my test scores and transcripts are excellent, but my application essays were horrible and I don't have a great deal of experience.

I'm completely broke. I'm not even really sure how I'm going to pay this month's rent.

The fee to break the lease at my current apartment is $1,000.

My current roommate is moving to Houston on July 9.

I'm moving out of my apartment here on July 16.

I'm moving in with my parents.

I'm planning on moving to New York on August 15.

During the month I live with my parents, I have to sell my car and somehow get the money to move. I also have to manage to not kill anyone. I visited over Memorial Day weekend and managed to have a fight with my mom within 48 hours.

At this point, I have no definite job prospects.

Also, my parents are totally against the move. They hate cities.

So, yeah...when I decide to take charge of my life and make things happen, I guess I kind of go all the way. I've spent the past few months in sheer terror and avoiding thinking about anything real (hence the neglecting of the blog). It's come the the point where denial is no longer possible, and I think I'm coming close to a breakdown of some kind. Either that, or I'm growing as a person. Right now, I'm just trying to remind myself that I really didn't like the whole "life on pause" thing much, and once I actually get to New York things will settle down. If not, I think I want to quit being an adult. Can I do that?

I'll take that as a compliment?

2005-03-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

I just got back from a walk around my apartment complex and some of the streets nearby. The complex I live in has pretty cheap apartments, so it caters to a pretty young crowd, primarily college students. I love walking (it makes me feel like I'm getting in touch with nature and exercising, although I'm barely doing either), but I prefer to walk with someone so I can talk. I've also found that walking alone can attract quite the attention...

I'm always surprised by the lack of subtlety evidenced by most college-aged guys. If I'm checking a guy out, I usually at least make an effort not to be obvious. Guys see a girl they like, though, and they're staring, whistling, and yelling out lines. I'm not at all offended by this, though...hey, who doesn't like attention? The most common things I hear are wolf whistles and the highly creative "Hey baby!" Got a new one today, though.

So I'm walking, and this car goes by kind of slowly. I glance up. He's actually kind of cute, and driving a nice car, and we make eye contact for a second. He turns his head, opens his mouth, and yells out the window..."Nice tits!" Now that's classy...is it bad that I laughed?

More Annoying Cheerfulness...

2005-03-30T17:42:00.000-05:00

I promise, I'll stop soon. I'm reaching the point where I'm starting to annoy myself, but I can't help it.

I'm sitting on my balcony right now (love the laptop and wireless internet, but it's really hard to see the screen outside). We have a tiny balcony...probably about 4'x7', just enough room for 2 chairs and a little table. I rushed home from work, changed into summery clothes, ate my dinner out here, and am now relaxing with my computer and debating whether or not I'm motivated enough to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.

You'd think my joy in this weather would be at least somewhat diminished by the knowledge that it's supposed to start raining tonight and cool down to the 40s and 50s for the next week, but it isn't. It's 73, and I'm celebrating spring! I think I'm going to take a walk...

Best Monday Ever

2005-03-28T23:13:00.000-05:00

Driving home from work, 85 miles an hour, windows rolled down, wind in my hair...today was a gorgeous day! I found myself running errands all day, just to get out of my office. When I got off work, instead of changing into jeans and a t-shirt and carrying a fleece blanket around the apartment, I was sitting on the balcony in shorts and a halter. I love spring! :-D

(I have a feeling my moods are much too easily influenced by the weather. I should move to Hawaii or Arizona or something. I'd probably get a bit annoying, though.)

I visited my parents again this weekend. I had originally planned on going home for both my birthday and Easter, not realizing how close they were this year. After going up for my birthday, I hadn't planned on returning for Easter, but I changed my mind kind of last-minute. I thought a change of scenery might be a good thing since I've been so stressed lately. Both of my parents had the weekend off, so I talked to them a bit about my plans to move. Actual comments:

Dad: You know, you could always move back home. and do what, go back to delivering pizzas?
Mom: I've heard the cost of living in New York is pretty high. um...you think?
Dad: Why would you want to live in the city? I hate cities. I'm not you?
Dad: Do you plan on getting a job before you move? as if I wouldn't!
Mom: You know, you could always move back home. I think I'd rather be homeless...

Sarah was coming back from visiting Tim (again) on Saturday. She got pulled over twice on the way up...both times, she was going less than 5 over the speed limit. Warnings both times, although she'll need four more to catch up to me. :-b

Sarah and I both got new cell phones in early August. She was looking at her total calling time, so I decided to check mine and compare. She's talked for over 400 hours. I have 27. I stopped by the store today and downgraded my plan.

And finally, a stock tip: whatever company makes Kleenex. My purchases alone have probably kept them in business all winter. I don't have a cold, and I'm not sick. Can my nose stop dripping now? Please???

Back to "Normal"

2005-03-25T04:03:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post, because I really should be sleeping now, but I figured since last night was the venting of all hostility and evil thoughts, today can be the venting of happiness or something...

So Julianne (my roommate...read yesterday's post for background) and I just got done having one of the longest conversations we've ever had. She was going to bed at midnight, and we started kind of talking, and it's now 3:48 a.m. and she just went to bed and I'm typing at my computer.

(Random thought I should discuss further in the future...all the best conversations I've had with people have either been in a car on a long trip or late at night. Why is that?)

We actually did briefly discuss her attitude yesterday, although I didn't really mention how it affected me. And I think, looking back, that I was more upset at myself that I was hurt by her actions than I was upset at her for actually being mad. As I think I've said before, I'm insane. I am aware of that fact, though, and that should count for something. She's under unbelievable stress at work, and she has realized that she's redirecting some of it at me, and she's now using my healthy avoidance technique.

What I've learned since yesterday:
Tired and emotional Julianne, combined with tired and sick Elizabeth, is not a good thing.
I obviously care about her more than I was aware...the only other people whose anger can affect me like this are my family.
The stress of her moving to Houston (now definitely happening in July) and me moving to NYC (in July or August if I get into NYU, but still happening this year even if I don't get in) has caused both of us to be more emotional than usual.

So things are back to "normal." What's weird, and we brought this up tonight, as we do every time we have a conversation regarding living with people, is that we are total opposites. And yet we get along better than I've gotten along with any other roommate (there have been 10 others since I started college). We were talking tonight about the fact that in Houston she'll be living alone, and I'll need to find a roommate to afford to live in New York, and while it's kind of scary to think of finding another person to live with, I think throughout the drama I've experienced with all my former roommates (there has been quite a lot), I've finally learned how to get along with a roommate.

When we first escaped from the dorms (and the Ashleys...to be explained in future post) we set up some ground rules. Anything just affecting one of us is our decision, and the other has no impact on it. Anything involving both of us, either one has complete veto power. There is compromise, but it's completely voluntary. The "rules" were set up primarily for decorating the apartment, but we've applied them to basically everything about living together. And while you wouldn't know it by last night's post, there has been very little tension in the 17 months we've lived together. Which, considering the situations both of us have been in with former roommates, is pretty amazing.

So this was supposed to be a short post, and it's obviously not (I don't think I'm capable of a short post about anything of any significance), I just wanted to say that yes, last night was bad, but life is still pretty good. :o)

Venting

2005-03-23T23:47:00.000-05:00

Most people who know me are probably not aware of it, but I have a pretty bad temper. The only people who've ever really had the joy of experiencing it are my family (aren't they lucky!). I don't get mad easily, and I rarely hold a grudge, but there are certain buttons that, when pressed, are guaranteed to set me off. I'm a very nice person most of the time, but when I'm mad, watch out. Afterwards, I can never believe how incredibly cruel I can be. Know those things you think to say, but you'd never actually say them? I've done it. Can't really take that stuff back.

Since I moved away from home, though, I don't really express my anger much. I don't know if it's just the idea that you can say anything to your family and they still have to love you, but my family members are really the only people I don't feel the need to edit myself around. When I get mad here, I just kind of bottle it up until I can take care of it myself. One thing I try very hard to never do, though, is put my anger from one situation onto someone else.

I'm not really feeling well today...not actually sick, just a combination of a cold and too many late nights lately. I got home from work, ate dinner, and lay down for a nap hoping to feel better. I got up around 9, not long after my roommate got home. I said hi and asked how her day was (same thing I do every day when I first see her), and she snapped at me. Okay...thinking if I did anything to upset her, not coming up with anything, but whatever. I kept kind of quiet, then tested the waters again. More hostility.

I had gotten up to watch American Idol, so I turned on the tv, hoping she'd either go into her room or get over whatever was bothering her. She sniped around for another few minutes, then I kind of gradually eased her out of the bad mood, and she admitted that she had had a horrible day at work. Now, I honestly feel bad for her. She works in a day care program, and is surrounded by preschoolers all day (pretty much my definition of hell). And she had a parent yelling at her about something that wasn't her fault, so it's totally understandable that she'd be upset. But is it really fair for her to take it out on me?

I know I overreact to this. Both of my parents act the same way, and I've always been one of the few kids in the family able to get either of them out of a bad mood. I'm kind of a different person at home...much sillier, more outrageous, saying things just for the shock value. I act that way mainly to get attention (it can be hard with 8 people in the house), but also because I can usually make my parents laugh when they're mad. I can usually tell what it'll take to get someone out of a bad mood...whether they need to laugh, just complain, or have someone listen seriously for a minute. And I can be that person. I just hate it when I have to be.

When I have a bad day, I'll whine about it a little, but always in a joking way. If I'm mad at something, or I know I'm in a bad mood, I'll stay in my room or read a book or get on my computer. Just anything to calm me down a little so I'm not spreading the negativity around. Is it too much to ask for the same courtesy in return?

It's difficult to hurt my feelings. There are very few people I care enough about to even give them the power to affect me, and even those people have limited spheres of influence. I'm confident in myself, and I'm secure in my choices and decisions. So you'd think I could handle it when people are mad. This is just one of those things, though...for some reason, my first assumption is that I've done something wrong, and then I feel the compulsion to fix the situation, because of course that's my responsibility.

I have a list somewhere of characteristics I'd look for in a potential relationship. I first made the list a while ago, and it's gone through quite a few edits and rewrites. One of the first things on the list, though, and one that's never changed. I could never be with someone who expresses anger badly. It scares me, and it makes me weak, and I hate that feeling. I try not to be that person, and all it takes is a few sentences, and I'm automatically making myself the victim.

I'm not even reading through this again before posting it...I'm sure it's not very coherent, just my rambling emotional thoughts. I'm not really much of an emotional person; I stay pretty much on an even keel. So I guess I'm entitled to a long incoherent post when it happens. I apologize to anyone who read this far hoping for any kind of meaning or resolution. Just venting, I guess. Helped to write it down. Have a great day! :o)

P.S. I'm ever so grateful for my laptop and my wireless router. I've been hiding in my room all evening. And now I'm going to bed...

It's Spring!

2005-03-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

It's a beautiful day; the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

I just checked the forecast, and I believe spring has finally arrived! The high temperature for the next 10 days is at least 40 every day. The snow we got last week (apparently winter's last effort) is melting. I can't wait to get off work and change into something summery.

Kinda funny how standards of what is warm change by the season...if it were 45 in the middle of summer, I'd be shivering, whining, and wearing a coat and sweater. It hits 45 now, and I'm outside in a t-shirt and flip-flops. :o)

GMAT Fun

2005-03-21T23:56:00.000-05:00

I've never been stressed before about taking a standardized test. I had to take them every year while I was in school, so I have quite a bit of experience. I've always been good at taking these tests, and I was testing at a post-high school level in most subjects by the second or third grade. I got a 35 on the ACT and a 1590 on the SAT. Not that I'm a genius or anything, but apparently the way they ask questions is the way I think or something. So I really shouldn't have been nervous at all...

I didn't sleep more than 3 hours a single night last week. I think I ate at most one meal a day. I had one of the worst migraines I've had in months. Not exactly the best feeling in the world going into a rather important test, but I tried to ignore it. I tried to call home and talk to someone to calm down as I was driving to the testing facility, but no one was home. I almost didn't find the building. I finally got in, signed all the confidentiality forms, and put my purse in a locker. I was actually shaking by the time I sat down at the computer to start the test.

The first section of the test was the writing part...the part I had been most worried about. I think I wrote the two shortest essays they'll be getting; hopefully being concise counts for something. I just couldn't think of much to say about either of their topics. I'm a multiple-choice person, not essay.

The second section was quantitative. Math has always been one of my favorite subjects. My senior year in high school, I was taking a calculus class and an accounting class in the same hour just because I could. That was five years ago. Except for accounting, which is really more about spreadsheets than anything else, I was exempt from taking any math classes in college. You'd be surprised at how much you can forget in 5 years.

I wasn't worried at all about the verbal section. I never had many classes in writing or literature, but all throughout elementary school, junior high, and high school, I had a spelling, vocabulary, and grammar class every year. I was referred to as a "Grammar Nazi" by a roommate's professor after he saw a paper of hers I had edited. This part of the test was actually pretty easy...except for the fact that by this point I was trying not to fall asleep.

Because the test is taken on a computer, you can see your quantitative, verbal, and total scores right away. Before seeing my scores, I had to decide whether or not to report them. Basically, you can just decide it wasn't worth it (before seeing what you got!!), click a button, and the $250 you paid and the 4 hours you spent on the test are gone. I wonder if anyone really does that? I was actually somewhat tempted.

Top score is 800; most people get a 400-600. Average at NYU's MBA program is 700. I was hoping for at least a 750, based on my previous test results. After taking the test, I had no idea how well I had done. I got a 740. Nice to know I got so incredibly stressed over nothing. And now my big debate is whether or not to retake it...I know I could do better now that I know what to expect, and I could work on my math a little more. I wouldn't be stressed going into it, since there's no way I could be in any worse condition to take it.

I'm insane.

It's Been a Week?

2005-03-20T04:40:00.000-05:00

It's been kind of a while since I've posted. I haven't been online much; I'll need to catch up on some stuff (especially e-mail, sorry if anyone has sent me something). It's been quite the week...I'll attempt to give a summary.

*****

First, last weekend...

I got lost on my way home (not like I've made this trip at least 50 times in the last 5 years or anything).

Deborah is growing tadpoles in my room for a science fair project.

My dad has worked literally every day so far this year...I saw him like twice.

Becca and Benjamin skipped my birthday party to go to a hockey game--not the first time this has happened.

My cousin Nicole is 4 months pregnant, and this is the first time I've seen her that she's been really showing...she was my best friend growing up; it's still odd to see her married, much less pregnant.

I saw my cousin Brad for the first time since he got back from Iraq in mid-February. :-D

I'd been thinking about it for a while, but after talking to some of my family about it, I made the decision to apply to NYU for grad school, instead of moving there after finishing school here in Michigan.

So it was quite the eventful weekend. It was wonderful being home and seeing everyone, but for someone who lives with one roommate in a very quiet apartment, it's always an adjustment. I think I slept a total of like 7 hours. Made the drive back here rather unpleasant; I have no idea how I used to stay awake on that trip before I got my phone.

*****

Now, this week...

On Monday, we had a problem at work. An automatic daily process didn't run, which basically caused me to lose an entire day's worth of work as well as having to manually run the process and fix the errors, which from prior experience I knew would take the rest of the week to finish. I got a migraine (kind of expecting it; I usually get one after the long drive, and the stressful weekend didn't exactly help).

On Tuesday, Gabe, a good friend I hadn't seen in a while, stopped by my office to tell me he'd be leaving for a year in Japan next Wednesday.

On Wednesday, I really started thinking about grad school, as well as the fact that I was taking the GMAT (test to get into grad school) on Friday and hadn't yet exactly prepared. My roommate got a job offer in Houston.

On Thursday, we had a going-away party for Gabe, and I ended up staying out way later than I should have.

On Friday, I went in to work for the morning, hoping it would help me keep my mind off the test. I tried to eat lunch and almost threw up. I then took the test (summary of that later), called my family with the results, came home and crashed. I slept from 4-10, got up, and went back to bed at 3.

Today, I woke up at 3 p.m. (that's 18 hours of sleep since yesterday afternoon) and never really did anything. I spent most of the day watching tv and eating, only leaving the couch to make cookies. I don't think I handle stress well...

Disgustingly Cheerful

2005-03-11T12:57:00.000-05:00

Know what makes me happy?

It's a beautiful sunny day.

Know what makes me even happier?

I get to leave work early.

Know what makes me happiest?

I'm going home this weekend.

It's a good day! :-D

Meet the Family

2005-03-11T01:07:00.000-05:00

I'm visiting my family this weekend, and I have a feeling their names might show up when I post, so I thought I'd give a little introduction.

My parents met and married in college in Colorado. They dropped out for financial reasons when my mom got pregnant with my older sister. They moved back to my dad's hometown where my dad got a "temporary" job at a factory. He's been working there now for 22 years. My mom stayed at home while I was growing up, but she got a job at the same pizza place where I was working the summer after my freshman year of college. (I'd highly recommend not working with your mom...) My mom grew up in India where her parents were Baptist medical missionaries. My dad grew up in a small town in Michigan and wanted to be a pastor. As a pretty liberal semi-agnostic, I'm their example of how they've failed in parenting. (I know that probably makes it sound like I hate them or something...really, I don't. I love my parents very much, and I know they love me, we just don't really understand each other. Let's just say we get along much better long-distance.)

Now the siblings, all of whom live with the parents...

Rebecca (Becca) is 23. She's currently in her 6th year of undergraduate college. She's on her 3rd or 4th major; I think she's now double-majoring in accounting and physical training. She's talking about transferring schools and moving out. I think she's afraid to grow up. She and I were best friends as kids (basically I tagged along with whatever she did), hated each other as teens, and got pretty close when I left for college. She teaches Sunday School at my parents' church.

(I fit in here. Read my list of 100 things about me if you're curious...although I'll warn you that I'm kind of boring.)

Benjamin is 20. He dropped out of college (he was commuting to the school Becca goes to) after one semester and is now training to be a mechanic. He's very into hunting and fishing. He has a girlfriend named Heidi who he's been dating for a few years, and they'll probably get married when she graduates from high school. He's pretty much an exact copy of my dad. We don't really have much of a relationship...we have practically nothing in common.

Sarah is 18. She's kind of everyone's favorite...I've mentioned her a few times before. She's always been "the cute one" in the family...big blue eyes, dimples, bubbly personality, etc. She's an amazing soccer player. She actually left home for college here in Grand Rapids on a soccer scholarship, but moved back home and is now taking classes online. She has a serious boyfriend (Tim, who lives in Illinois) and will probably be married within a year. She also teaches Sunday School at my parents' church.

Faith is 16 (almost 17). Think Phoebe from Friends...tall, thin, long blonde hair, and somewhat of a stereotypical "dumb blonde." She's very musically talented, especially on the piano, and plans on pursuing music in college. She also has the stereotypical artistic moodiness, and can be very interesting to be around at times.

Deborah is 15. She's incredibly intelligent. She's also very quiet and hides in her room reading all the time. She was kind of chubby as a kid, in a family where everyone except my dad is quite thin, and I think she's kind of shy now because of it, although she's not at all overweight now. I have a feeling she'll end up writing a best-selling book about growing up in a family of craziness...she kind of sits quietly on the sidelines and observes everything.

So...um...there's the family. Reading over this post, we're even stranger than I thought, although in a very boring way. I'm kind of an anomaly in the group, although I think some of the younger ones will probably take after me a little. I know Faith and Deborah are at least planning on leaving home for college...it's a start! I should also note that everyone in our family has always been rather intelligent, although it's not always applied well. Benjamin's the only one of us who didn't get straight A's all through school, and he could have if he had cared about it. My parents were always very strict about being called by our full names, so none of us except Becca go by any nicknames...I'm not sure why, but they've always called her that.

Two Questions and a Minor Rant

2005-03-09T20:23:00.000-05:00

My parents' 25th anniversary is March 15. They're rather difficult to buy for, and I have no idea what to get them. For Christmas, I gave them movie passes and a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant so they could go out on a date. They both work strange hours, so they could save the certificates for a time that worked best for them. They really liked the gift, and since I can't think of anything to get them for their anniversary, I was thinking of doing the same thing again. Would that be weird? I know it's a special anniversary, but I can't think of anything else. None of my siblings have any ideas either. Suggestions are welcome! :o)

For my birthday, instead of presents my family will be giving me money so I can get a digital camera. I know absolutely nothing about digital photography...I'd love to hear suggestions of camera brands and models. I don't plan on doing anything special with the camera (just basic snapshots), and I imagine I'll probably be on a somewhat limited budget.

Now for the rant...

I really shouldn't complain, but I'm getting very tired of this semi-winter/semi-spring thing we have going on right now. It's been wonderful to have sunlight, but for the past few days we've had the most random weather...from sunny blue skies to snow and back to sunny blue skies within 15 minutes. A sudden whiteout snowstorm caused a 90-car pileup a few miles from my apartment yesterday morning. It was over 50 degrees on Sunday, and today we had a high of like 23. Can it just be spring? Please???

Birthday...

2005-03-08T23:56:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day...

*****

When my siblings and I were kids, my mom would always wake us up on our birthdays with a candle we had that played "Happy Birthday" when you set it down. It was always my favorite part of my birthday...I'd usually be awake, but I'd pretend to be asleep so she could wake me up.

I've been having my mom call me at 7:15 every morning for the past few weeks to make sure I'm awake. I have an amazing ability to sleep through both of my alarm clocks, and it helps ensure I get up in time for work. (Obviously I'm a very mature adult.) This morning, I got up early at 6:45 and was almost ready to leave by the time she called.

I answered the phone, and she was singing "Happy Birthday." Nice start for the day. :o)

*****

My dad and I don't really talk on the phone often. Actually, the only phone calls from him I can remember in recent memory are when he called me in October to tell me my grandpa had passed away and when he called me after Christmas to thank me for the gift I gave him, when I didn't recognize his voice on the phone (third paragraph in linked post).

I was having a pretty bad day at work today; it seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong did. Around 1:30, I got a call on my cell from my parents' house. It was my dad...he had just gotten up for work and wanted to tell me happy birthday. We actually talked for about 20 minutes, which is the longest conversation I've ever had with him on the phone (excluding car repair discussions).

*****

My cousin Heather is staying with me this week while she's on spring break. When I got off work, she and my roommate (Julianne) took me out to dinner. They had the waiters sing to me...first time I've ever had that happen. I'm kind of surprised that I wasn't embarrassed; I just laughed the whole time.

When we got home, we had cheesecake (picture 22 candles in a 6-inch Sara Lee cheesecake) and I opened presents. Heather gave me a book and a DVD, and Julianne gave me a pillow shaped like a Reese's peanut butter cup package! Is it sad that it's like my favorite gift ever? :-D

*****

My brother Benjamin actually called me to tell me happy birthday...I don't think he's ever called me before. We had the most awkward 15-minute phone conversation ever. Then Sarah (mentioned here and here) called me and we talked for a while. It was good to talk to her, we haven't actually caught each other on the phone in at least a week.

*****

Also, I wasn't expecting very good weather at all; according to the forecast, it was supposed to be cloudy and snowing off and on all day. Instead, the day was mostly sunny with these random occasional snow showers. Very weird to see it snowing and sunny at the same time. Definitely helps with the winter doldrums!

*****

It's weird not to be 21 any more. It was just kind of a fun age to be. I have a feeling 22 will be just as fun, though! I love birthdays! :o)

21 Hours

2005-03-07T23:20:00.000-05:00

Last March...my senior year and my final spring break. I traveled to Florida for spring break my sophomore year, but that was the only time I had been able to go anywhere but home. I was turning 21 over break, and I really wanted to celebrate my birthday somewhere other than my hometown.

My cousin Heather was a sophomore at the same school, and she had an aunt with a condo in Florida we could stay in for free. We talked about going there, but didn't really make concrete plans.

At the time, I was driving a '92 Buick Skylark. It was a high school graduation gift from my parents, and it had caused me nothing but misery from the time I had gotten it. I have an embarrassingly long list of stories I could tell of times it broke down. In January, it had died while I was visiting my parents, so I left it at home for repairs and rode back to school with Heather, who also lives in my hometown.

Because I lived off campus, Heather was letting me use her car while mine was being fixed. We were headed out to a movie in early February when the driver in front of us slammed on his brakes. I was driving, and I managed to stop before hitting him, but the woman behind us didn't see us at all and hit us at about 50 mph. Heather's car was totaled. Our dads drove down in my car and took hers back up north (it was still drivable).

We were a little nervous at the prospect of taking my car on such a long drive, but we couldn't afford to fly and we couldn't find anyone else who wanted to go with us. We looked into renting a car, but neither of us was old enough. So we decided to just try it with my car; if it died on the way we'd try to take a bus or something home. We were pretty much just desperate to escape somewhere warm.

Two weeks before spring break, my car died again. This time, it seemed rather permanent. After getting it fixed pretty much every 2 months for 4 years, I had given up. I decided to just buy another car; I had been thinking about it for a while, and I could use my spring break money for a down payment.

I shopped around online and went to 3 or 4 dealerships (met one guy who was the stereotypical used car salesman), but ended up finding a car at a dealership owned by a classmate's dad. It was a 2000 Ford Focus...bright red, very cute, and pretty low mileage. I checked up on the model online, and it had some of the highest safety ratings in its class. It was $5,100, well within my budget. I decided on the car on the Thursday before spring break started, but I was having a little trouble getting financing, and I didn't end up picking the car up until 9:00 Saturday morning.

I drove back to my apartment from the dealership and packed for my trip home. It was snowing, so I decided to wait and leave in the morning rather than driving an unfamiliar car in bad weather.

I was very excited about my new car. Throughout the afternoon, I kept looking out the window at it. I called home and told everyone about it. I read the owner's manual cover to cover (I'm not kidding...insane, I know). I thought of it as an early birthday present for myself, since my birthday was on Monday. I wanted to get home in time for church with my parents, so I could show off my car to everyone there. I decided to leave at 5 a.m. on Sunday in order to get there by 11.

As I left Grand Rapids, the roads were pretty bad. I'm comfortable driving in snow, but slush and ice are a little more dangerous. My grandparents have a second home (known to the whole family as the farm) in a really small town about an hour north of Grand Rapids. I decided to stop there for a while and wait for the roads to clear up.

Five miles from my exit, I lost control of my car. I was only going about 40 miles an hour, but the car started spinning and I quickly recognized I wouldn't be able to get it back under control. After spinning 2 or 3 times, I hit a small sign and then started rolling down a hill. The car rolled twice and ended up at the bottom of the hill, about 5 feet from some large trees.

My only conscious thought through the entire accident was that I couldn't believe I was wrecking my new car. I wasn't scared at all...I was mad. It didn't even occur to me that I could get hurt.

Once the car stopped, I sat there for a minute kind of in shock. I was covered in broken glass from my window. The car was still running, so I turned it off. I called my parents first to see what I should do. My mom answered the phone, and I told her that I was ok, but I had been in an accident. She said my dad was on his way and to call 911. They told me the police were on my way and to wait by the road. It was 6 a.m....21 hours since I had gotten the car.

My door wouldn't open and the other side of the car was kind of angled into the ground, so I climbed out through the broken window (I felt very adventurous). I stepped out into a foot of snow...wearing a skirt and heels. I climbed up the hill to the road, and a few minutes later a couple stopped and offered to let me sit in their car while I was waiting for the police. I said no at first, but I was really cold, and they seemed pretty nice, so I got in. It ended up that the guy was originally from my hometown (small world).

When the police officer showed up, he called a tow truck, and after getting the details of the accident he decided not to give me a ticket. Highly unusual in a single-car accident, but I have a feeling that my story helped. It being the day before my birthday, and my second day driving a new car, he probably felt sorry for me.

The tow truck arrived, and after I declined medical attention, the police officer gave me a ride to the farm. Since no one was staying there at the time, the house was completely cold and the water wasn't turned on. I curled up under a pile of blankets on the couch and fell asleep. I woke up to my dad shaking my shoulder...he had been out the door less than 10 minutes after I called and made the 5 hour trip, on bad roads, in a little over 4 hours.

I wasn't even sore when I woke up the next morning. My only injury was a tiny cut on my pinkie finger, probably from climbing through the window. Altogether, I had quite the spring break. I spent most of my time on the phone with my insurance company and trying to figure out how to get another car as soon as possible. My insurance company settled on Friday for $6,200. I used the money to buy another car. A red 2000 Ford Focus, slightly nicer than the first one. It's been a year today...haven't broken this one yet! :o)

Inspired by Insomnia

2005-03-04T02:11:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to look into Firefox for quite a while now, but I kept putting it off. I've never really had any problems with IE, but I had heard so much about Firefox I wanted to check it out.

So it's 2 a.m., and I can't sleep, so what do I do? Download Firefox, of course.

For those of you who haven't looked into it, I'd highly recommend at least checking it out. Many fun features...my favorites so far are the tabs and the search features.

At least I'm being somewhat productive...

Elizabeth Goes to the Weight Room

2005-03-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

I’m not much of an athlete…I’ve always been more intellectually-focused. (Translation: I’d rather have my nose in a book or a computer than get off my butt and exercise) Because of this, I’m not exactly familiar with athletic-type stuff. Such as weight rooms.

My total experiences in gyms at this point in my life has been about 4 or 5 visits to the weight room throughout my 4 years of college. Most of those being before my spring break trip to Florida my sophomore year (very small bikini=motivation).

So I decided last weekend that I was going to start working out. As a staff member, I get free access to the university weight room. Tonight was my first visit (only took 4 days of working up the motivation to do it…).

I got off work, got in my car, drove to the athletic center (about 100 yards from my office), and changed clothes. I then headed downstairs to the weight room.

After getting turned around 3 or 4 times—stupid hallways that all look the same—I made it into the room. Rather intimidating. There were about 8-10 very hot guys in excellent shape all apparently knowing what they were doing. A few guys from the basketball, track, and soccer teams. Mmmmm…quite a few guys from the athletic teams. You know…I bet they’re all single…no time to date anyone with all the time they spend working out. Did I mention the hot guys?

Oh…um…yeah…back to the people in the room. Quite a few girls from the track team. I ignored them; it was rather demoralizing. An older couple (not really sure who they were; it’s supposed to be only students and staff, and I didn’t recognize either of them) and a really disgusting sweaty old overweight guy. Really disgusting. So back to the hot guys…

Is it a bad sign that the only pieces of exercise equipment I even recognize are the treadmills, stair-steppers, exercise bikes, and rowing machines? There’s this whole area of machines I wouldn’t even know what to do with. I’d probably end up using a leg machine to try to work my arms or something.

I decide on the treadmill…can’t go wrong with that! Or maybe I can. The first one I try is broken. Only one left is between two of the aforementioned hot athletic guys. In front of one of the TVs showing ESPN. Did I mention that even though I have over 100 CDs sitting in my car, I forgot to bring my CD player? So no distractions. And no hiding, pretending to ignore everyone around me.

I started out walking kind of slowly, trying to warm up. I sped up the machine…too fast. Slowed it down…too slow. Sped it up again…too fast. Notice a pattern here? Tired of looking like an idiot, I decided to just slow it down enough to keep walking. By this point, my calves were starting to feel kind of sore. I checked my time, figuring I had probably been going for at least 15-20 minutes. Um…11 minutes. Great. The goal was 30.

Summary: 1.8 miles, 30 minutes, 3 hairstyles (had to do something while I was walking)

I should be a professional athlete.

I Can Talk!

2005-03-03T13:22:00.000-05:00

Not much time to post while I'm here at work...I'm rather swamped right now. I had 5 employees this summer helping me to prepare for a major project. Now I have a project of a similar scale, and it's just me doing the same amount of work...not fun.

Knottyboy is currently my favorite person in the world! His suggestion about the sore throat I mentioned/whined about on Tuesday worked wonders...I only wish I had had the time to check my blog after I posted. After a full day of craziness at work I went home, took Nyquil, and dozed all evening. I finally saw his comment yesterday afternoon, did what he suggested as soon as I got home from work, and felt better almost immediately! :-D

Have you ever tried to go a full day without talking? It's very difficult. Since my throat seemed to get worse as I talked, I went all day at work yesterday without talking. It wasn't too hard...I had to write a few notes to people to explain things or ask questions, but since my job doesn't require a great deal of human interaction it wasn't a huge inconvenience. Some things I realized:

*My phone rang more in one day than it does in a normal week. I had to turn the ringer off to avoid answering it just out of habit.

*Coworkers close to my age teased me because they knew I couldn't/wouldn't talk back. Coworkers older than me (especially women my mom's age) babied me. They were all trying to give me various kinds of medicine all day. When I didn't go to lunch (not much I could swallow, I had 4 people offer to pick something up for me. :o)

*I don't write very often. I type all the time, but the only writing I do is shopping lists, little reminder notes to myself, and my signature. My handwriting has degenerated and I write really slowly now compared to how I used to when I took notes by hand.

Whine

2005-03-01T08:51:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, and it seems to be getting worse by the minute. I hope I'm not getting sick again...I've been sick pretty much all winter, and I'm just getting over a really bad cold.

At least there's hot chocolate with marshmallows...

Hallway Rage

2005-02-28T14:45:00.000-05:00

I'm a pretty aggressive driver. I blame it on the fact that I learned to drive in a full-size van...when you're bigger than everyone else on the road, they tend to move out of your way. Then, of course, there's the fact that not too long after I got my own car, I moved from a very small town to a pretty big city. And the fact that I regularly make a 5-6 hour trip to visit my parents. Add those factors together and you get a driver that can tend to be rather...confident.

I've noticed a tendency of mine to always want to be ahead of everyone else. I'm not really sure why; I'm not trying to race or anything, but if I see a car in front of me I want to pass it. So if the roads are clear, and I'm not really watching my speed, I can get going pretty fast weaving back and forth around other cars. That probably accounts for the 5 times I've been stopped for speeding (no tickets yet!).

When I'm driving and I encounter a slow driver in the fast lane, or two cars going the same speed blocking both lanes, I tend to get rather upset. I have been known to honk the horn, tailgate, and otherwise attempt to intimidate people into moving out of my way. It usually works.

I've noticed recently that my walking habits are kind of similar to my driving habits. I'm currently helping my boss set up for faculty training sessions a few times a week, and for these sessions I have to set up laptops in a classroom down the hallway from my office. This hallway is used by many students, and they tend to congregate into groups and stand around or walk together slowly. I get to walk through these masses of students carrying 4 or 5 laptops (I don't like to make multiple trips).

Apparently I don't like being behind people walking any more than I like being behind people driving. I've noticed that whenever someone is walking in front of me, I automatically speed up so I can pass them. I don't even think about it; just a natural response. Maybe I should start carrying a horn...

Ramblings

2005-02-28T01:36:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep, so I'm posting some random thoughts...

*****

Law & Order: SVU is supposed to be on USA right now. Instead, they're playing golf. Not that I need to see any more episodes of SVU, but still, I don't understand the appeal of even playing golf, much less watching it. The fact that there are crowds of people just standing around silently watching the tournament is funny, yet sad.

*****

It's interesting to me how many TV channels have websites that are so much more useful than the TV channel that they make the channels completely unnecessary...like CNN , the TV Guide channel, and the Weather channel. I find it an interesting trend to see companies actually drive one of their products into obsolescence with another one of their products. Yes, I was a business major. Can you tell?

*****

Whoever it was that invented TeleFile? And direct deposit? I love them. My tax return was spent before I even got it, but at least I got it quickly.

*****

I took this test, and apparently I'm not really much more female than male. Should I be concerned?

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

*****

It's 1:30 a.m., and I just had a snack of chicken fingers and fries. It's a wonder I don't weigh 400 pounds.

*****

Swimsuit shopping should be legally considered torture.

*****

The above two observations could be related.

*****

The golf tournament just ended, and one of the guys took off his hat. He had a severe tan line on his forehead from wearing baseball hats so much. I probably shouldn't find this funny, yet I do.

*****

Law & Order: SVU is on...I've seen this episode twice already. I'm watching it anyway.

Nothing Profound

2005-02-27T22:00:00.000-05:00

I'd like a job where I get to dress up in a fancy gown, wear diamonds, get my hair & makeup done, walk a red carpet, and be photographed, interviewed, and watched on TV once a year simply for working...

Also, I wonder how exactly Beyonce got the job of singing every song in the Oscars ceremony. Was there some kind of drawing?

Birthday Fun...

2005-02-26T23:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my roommate's birthday...

An approximate schedule of the afternoon/evening's events:

4:30 Leave work

4:35 Hear traffic report explaining why I'm not moving (stupid Grand Rapids drivers!!!)

5:05 Arrive at mall having no idea what to purchase

5:20 Leave mall with gift and card (it's a skill)

5:25 Hear traffic report explaining why I'm not moving; attempt to suppress road rage

5:45 Arrive at Meijer

5:55 Leave Meijer with cake mix, frosting, ice cream, and candles (I shop here way too often)

6:00 Arrive at Walmart

6:10 Leave Walmart with gift bag, tissue paper, and balloons

6:20 Arrive at apartment to see that Julianne has gotten off work early; decide "surprise" decorating can wait

6:55 Arrive at restaurant

8:05 Leave restaurant, having invalidated 1/3 of #32 on my list of 100 things about me (I liked the strawberry daiquiri)

8:25 Begin making cake

8:50 Wrap present

9:15 Verify apartment is presentable

9:35 Start frosting cake

9:45 Heather arrives (15 minutes early)

10:15 Rachel, Andrea, and Kristen arrive (15 minutes late)

10:30 Julia arrives (30 minutes late)

11:30 Girls finally leave

12:05 SLEEP!!!!! :-D

They Grow Up So Fast...

2005-02-26T15:39:00.000-05:00

Just a short post to note that my stat counter has passed the 500 mark! I'm way too excited over this...

Naptime

2005-02-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

It's that time of the afternoon...I could put my head down on my desk and be asleep instantly. I've tried distracting myself; I've gotten up and walked to the drinking fountain, did some stretches, ate some cookies from the vending machine. I'm still tired.

For some reason, this happens to me every afternoon after I eat lunch. Once I get home, though, I'm wide awake. Just 90 minutes to go! I love Fridays! :o)

An Open Letter to Grand Rapids Drivers...

2005-02-25T08:52:00.000-05:00

Say you're driving into work in the morning. And it's winter. And it's early. And Elizabeth is not exactly in the greatest mood, because...well, let's face it, she's not a morning person.

And you see an accident in the median. A car has gone off the road and rolled a few times. You see that emergency vehicles are there, and everything is well off the road, and it's not really affecting your drive at all.

Next time this happens, instead of stopping, or slowing to 10 miles an hour, why don't you consider driving the speed limit?! It's not exactly rocket science here, people. I know you're curious...I mean concerned...about the accident. And it's not like I don't look or anything. But turning my 10-minute drive into 35 minutes because apparently you're incapable of just glancing at the accident as you drive by? I forgave it on Wednesday. Twice in one week, though? Unacceptable.

While Watching Jeopardy...

2005-02-24T19:54:00.000-05:00

My roommate and I have the oddest conversations...

Elizabeth: See that woman?
Julianne: Yeah?
E: You know the movie with Tim Allen?
J: *blank look*
E: With the aliens?
J: *blank look*
E: Where he had the tv show? and it was real?
J: Yeah!
E: Did you see it?
J: Yes *embarrassed look*
E: Doesn't that woman look just like the girl alien?!
J: Wow!! You're right!
E: I'm glad you're my roommate...we're both weird, aren't we?
J: Yeah...you know she looks exactly like her. Weird.

The woman on the left is Carolyn Cracraft from Jeopardy. The woman on the right is Missi Pyle, in Galaxy Quest...which is, by the way, an incredibly stupid movie. I don't know what to think about the fact that we've both seen it.

Close Call

2005-02-24T13:11:00.000-05:00

As I stood up from my desk, about to head to lunch, I smoothed the front of my pants, since they tend to wrinkle when I sit at my desk for hours on end without moving. I noticed that something felt rather odd. I glanced down, and noticed a hole in the crotch of my pants.

I helped my boss set up for a meeting this morning. While doing this I walked around a lot and stood in front of a rather large group of people. I have no idea if this hole was present at that time. You'd think I'd have noticed the hole when I got dressed this morning (it's right under the zipper), but I was rather tired.

So I got a safety pin out of my purse (good thing I have a collection of random stuff I never really need in there), tried to act casual as I walked to the bathroom with my hand very carefully placed in front of me, and inspected the damage. Fortunately, the fabric wasn't torn, just the seam separated, and it wasn't a large hole (about 1 1/2 inches long), but still...can you imagine if I had gone to lunch like that? :-b

While Eating Apple-Chocolate Chip Cake...

2005-02-24T09:12:00.000-05:00

(Hey...it has fruit in it! That makes it healthy!)

When I wake up early enough in the morning to eat breakfast, I usually turn on the TV and watch CNN or something for a few minutes...makes me feel like a responsible adult or something. This morning, when I turned the TV on, Today's Campbell Brown was interviewing Jeff Gannon/James Guckert. (This is kind of random, but I love that the reporter's name is Campbell Brown. Reporter names in general are entertaining--Wolf Blitzer, Stone Phillips--but I find hers especially funny. I'm sure it's not her real name, but it makes me laugh every time I think of that name on the elementary school playground. I have a feeling she's heard more than her share of jokes about soup.) I haven't blogged about this situation before, because just about everyone on the planet already knows about it, but there were a few quotes this morning I found absolutely hilarious.

*****

But Jeff Gannon isn't really Jeff Gannon. (Don't you love how dramatic they try to make things sound?) He uses the pseudonym because his real name is difficult to pronounce, he says.

Gannon: My name is James Guckert

Brown: James Guckert?

Gannon: Yes.

Brown: It's not so hard to pronounce. (I love it when reporters say exactly what I'm thinking!)

Gannon: Well, when you read it, it's always pronounced some other way. (I can think of only two ways to pronounce this name: Gookert [long U, like he says it] and Guckert [short U, apparently wrong]. Obviously very difficult.)

*****

Some might say how does a guy who works for an obscure, Internet publication, with a background that is linked to Internet porn in some fashion, get into the daily briefings, and get to ask the president a question at a news conference?

Gannon: I asked to come. They allowed me to come. And apparently that there isn't a very high threshold as far as somebody's personal life to gain access. (Good to know that all it takes to get into a White House press briefing is to ask. I have a feeling security procedures are going to be tightened rather quickly...)

Beautiful Day

2005-02-23T16:29:00.000-05:00

It's been snowing for the past few days, and today started out the same. I glanced out my window a few minutes ago and noticed that the sun has finally appeared! I just ran a completely unnecessary errand so I could walk across campus and enjoy the sunshine. Funny how the snow that has been bothering me all week looks absolutely gorgeous sparkling in the sunlight. :o)

I Felt Pretty...

2005-02-23T14:06:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those days where you just know you look good? I was having one of those days this morning. New shoes, favorite black skirt, new shirt (makes my eyes look a really cool blue-green color), hair and makeup looking great. So I was in a good mood...got a few compliments...nice day.

I work on a college campus, so I can eat in the cafeteria at a really discounted price. I went through the lunch line, walked back to the table I usually sit at with a few of my coworkers, and stopped to talk to a friend on the way there. There was a girl sitting at the table with her that's kind of an acquaintance of mine. Jennifer is one of those girls that you'd love to hate...she looks like a model, yet has the sweetest personality, so you can't dislike her. So we're chatting, and I'm standing next to her, and suddenly the cute feelings are kind of gone.

I did, however, get a wolf whistle on my way back to my office...guess I can't really complain. ;-)

I'm in Trouble

2005-02-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

I was checking my site stats this morning, and I noticed an unusual visit. Apparently an admin from my hometown's web page (of which I was rather critical) spent 21 minutes on my site this weekend.

Now I'm not entirely sure who is running this website...from their about page, it's a "private concern, consisting of a group of individuals, each sharing the same compassion and the desire to inform and welcome potential visitors to our abundance of beauty and scenic natural resources." I have a feeling it's probably the owners of some local hotels and campsites.

Problem is, Munising is a VERY small town. And it's not like I'm famous or anything, but there are people who know who I am. And I have a very large family, many of whom live in Munising, none of whom are aware of the existence of this blog.

So I doubt any of this would really come up in a conversation, but what if it did? ARGH!! Now I'm paranoid to blog...

Blind Fools

2005-02-21T23:44:00.000-05:00

I was trying to come up with a title for this post, and I couldn't decide between "Love is Blind" and "Fools in Love," so I decided to combine them. Not that I'm cynical or anything...

Sarah and Tim are fine. She came to visit this weekend; we had a great time. We finally talked about what had happened; I didn't want to call her while she was visiting him (they don't get to spend much time together, and I try to let them have their space) and she didn't call me to let me know what was going on.

His amazing excuse for the lack of celebration on V-Day? He forgot. Yes, despite the million commercials on TV and the radio, the decorations everywhere, and the fact that she came to visit him bringing gifts, he was apparently unaware that it was Valentine's Day.

I'm trying very hard to give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's not really working.

But they worked it out, and she forgave him, and he says it won't happen any more. Apparently during their "discussion" she cried...it was the first time he had seen her cry. It was quite effective. So we'll see how long this lasts.

Funny how it's easier to see stuff when you're on the outside. I know he must be a good guy if she really loves him, but it's hard to skip over the negative stuff like she does. I've seen him do insensitive things like this over and over again, and I keep telling myself that it's just that I'm a cynical person. Still, it's hard to ignore it when it seems like a pattern. This reminds me too much of when he canceled his plans to visit her on her birthday and didn't even send flowers.

So...I'm watching. And I'm waiting. And I'll notice when he makes mistakes.

Yes; I admit it. I'm totally overprotective. It's my right as an older sister! :o)

*****

The above can be the "Love is Blind" section. Now here's the "Fools in Love" part. As I mentioned before, Sarah came to visit me for the weekend. Now, Sarah lives with my parents in Munising, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I live in Grand Rapids, Michigan (about 5-6 hours south of my parents). Tim lives in a small town in Illinois, about 3-4 hours south of me. Sarah visited him for a week, then came up to see me for the weekend, then planned on going home on Sunday.

We got a pretty bad snowstorm yesterday afternoon. Looking at the forecast, it was obvious that Sarah couldn't drive home, since the storm worsened as you moved north. She's always welcome at my apartment, and she had been staying for 2 nights, so I assumed that she'd stay with me another night and just head home this morning. She called Tim, and he said it wasn't snowing in Illinois.

So what does she do? The logical thing, of course. Drives almost 5 hours in the snow to see Tim again. Because of course she hasn't seen him in like 2 days and that's much too long. I've never been in love...never even been close, so I can't really say what I'd do in that situation myself. I'm just trying to remember that she's an adult (barely), and she's allowed to make these decisions for herself.

It's difficult to reconcile the overprotective older sister part of me with the part that knows she needs to make decisions on her own. I can't even imagine how parents must feel when they see their kids making stupid choices. I don't know if I ever plan on having children...guess I'm just using up whatever motherly feelings I have while I can. :o)

Happy Birthday!

2005-02-18T15:59:00.000-05:00

Today is Aaron's mom's birthday. In the time I've been following Aaron's blog, I've been impressed by his love and respect for his mother. She must be a wonderful person to have raised the son she has.

I'm not really a very creative person, so I'll just send you my best wishes, and hope you have a Happy Birthday, EvillMom! :o)

100 Things About Me

2005-02-18T14:14:00.000-05:00

For the extremely valid reason that everyone else is doing it...here's a list of 100 things about me! Enjoy. :o)

1. I was born on March 8, 1983 at home in the bedroom I've always lived in.
2. My umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck 3 times and I was apparently rather blue.
3. The nurse/midwife thought I'd end up severely brain damaged.
4. My younger 4 siblings were all born in the hospital.
5. I have 4 sisters and one brother.
6. You’re probably feeling sorry for my brother—don’t.
7. I grew up in a town in northern Michigan with a population of about 2,500.
8. I hate it.
9. I'm moving to either New York City or San Diego after grad school.
10. I started school at 4 because I was already reading at home.
11. I attended a private Baptist school with about 40 students (K-12).
12. I was in the largest class in the history of the school.
13. My graduating class had 5 people.
14. I have been taught by my grandma (1st and 2nd grade), my Aunt Cathy (5th and 6th grade), my Aunt Lydia (7th and 8th grade English), and my mom (9th and 10th grade Spanish).
15. I apparently had a fight with the only other girl in my class in 4th grade. I don't remember.
16. Girls at our school had to wear skirts. I got into trouble repeatedly in elementary school for not sitting carefully in the skirt and showing my underwear.
17. I got fired from a summer job for giving notice that my last day would be in 3 weeks so I could attend a family reunion.
18. I currently have only 2 people outside my family that I’d consider close friends.
19. I worked at a pizza place for 4 summers, 2 spring breaks, and 3 winter breaks.
20. I could still eat pizza every day.
21. I first remember firing a gun when I was about 6 years old. It knocked me over.
22. My family is very into hunting and other outdoor sports.
23. I don’t even kill bugs, and the only part of the outdoors I like is the beach.
24. I've read thousands of books.
25. Most of them were romance novels.
26. My neighbors used to call me the hat girl because for 2 or 3 summers I wore hats all the time. Not a baseball hat, like a normal child, but hats like you see old ladies wear to church.
27. I have never been on a date.
28. While the rest of my class went on a senior trip to Europe, I stayed home because my parents couldn't afford it.
29. I told them I didn't want to go.
30. They believed me.
31. I'm completely addicted to the internet.
32. I've never smoked a cigarette, drank alcohol, or done drugs.
33. My mom thinks I'm a bad influence on my younger sisters.
34. She has recently acknowledged that I might actually have standards.
35. My parents are extremely conservative evangelical Christians.
36. I think organized religion is the cause of many major problems in society.
37. I’d consider myself either an agnostic or a very liberal non-denominational Christian.
38. I never lived with any roommate for longer than one year in college.
39. My current roommate and I moved into an apartment together to escape 2 other roommates after being randomly placed together and knowing each other for only 4 months.
40. My first time flying was in an 8-seat plane flying to an island for a volleyball game. I loved it and would like to get a pilot’s license someday.
41. My least favorite household task is washing dishes.
42. Followed closely by laundry.
43. I got kicked out of a Meijer (Midwest supermarket kind of like Walmart) for riding the toy horse.
44. I was 18 at the time.
45. I once slept for 22 hours.
46. I wasn't sick; I had just finished finals.
47. I've fallen asleep at the wheel at least 5 times, but never been in an accident from it.
48. I've been in 4 relatively major car accidents (I was driving in 2 of them).
49. I wrecked the first car I bought myself less than 24 hours after I signed the papers.
50. I went skinny-dipping with my cousin Nicole less than 100 yards from a busy highway.
51. In my freshman communications class, I gave my informative speech on pizza.
52. I gave my demonstrative speech on pie.
53. I have 15 pillows on my bed.
54. I have 41 houseplants.
55. When I was growing up, my mom insisted that no one call me by any nicknames.
56. I can't whistle.
57. I once beat every guy in my high school in a Playstation hockey tournament. I’d never before played either Playstation or hockey.
58. I'm always late.
59. When my sister Sarah was disappointed with her 16th birthday, I stayed up all night making her a cherry pie (her favorite), making her a cake and frosting it like a soccer ball (she plays), and shopping for and wrapping gifts. I then drove 6 hours home (on no sleep), decorated the house while she was away at a soccer game, and threw her a mini-surprise party when she got home.
60. I tend to be extravagant with people I love.
61. I have an amazing ability to get lost.
62. Using one very simple map, I successfully navigated my roommate through midtown Manhattan at 2 a.m. because the directions we got online were completely wrong.
63. The summer after my freshman year of college, I worked 2 jobs, averaging about 75 hours a week, and had a total of 2 days off work all summer.
64. I wrote one check for tuition at the beginning of the first semester of my sophomore year and spent most of my summer's earnings.
65. I'm naturally terrible at pretty much any sport I play.
66. I was the captain of the volleyball team my senior year in high school.
67. I was the only senior on the team.
68. We lost every game.
69. Growing up, everyone commented on my resemblance to my grandpa (just what every girl wants to hear—you look like an old man).
70. My four best friends in high school were 2 of my cousins and 2 of my sisters.
71. I got a composite score on my ACT of 35 (out of 36) and almost retook it to see if I could bump it up to a 36.
72. I'm still bitter about the stupid Science Reasoning section that ruined my perfect score.
73. Yes, I'm a total nerd.
74. I have an undergraduate degree, am planning on starting graduate school soon, and still don't know for sure what I want to be when I grow up.
75. I firmly believe that the person who first combined peanuts and chocolate should be worshipped.
76. I've tried dieting twice in my lifetime.
77. Both times, I've given up within a week.
78. In a church Christmas program when I was 4, I decided to sing a solo of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" when there was a pause between songs.
79. I was given the biggest female role in every school play growing up because I was the only person guaranteed to learn all my lines.
80. I can hardly swim, yet I'm completely fearless around water.
81. I don't know what my favorite color is.
82. My senior year of high school, I traveled to South Carolina for a national academic competition.
83. I won.
84. My senior year of college, I traveled to Indiana for a national academic competition.
85. I lost.
86. I once made 11 pies for our family Thanksgiving dinner.
87. I've been told that I could be a professional gift wrapper.
88. I like giving presents more than receiving them.
89. I was the president of my senior class in college, but only because no one else wanted to.
90. I used to hide books in my desk in school and read them while the teacher wasn't looking.
91. We didn't have a TV in my house until I was 14 years old.
92. When watching "The Princess Bride" at my aunt's house as a child, I was so afraid of the albino guy that I hid behind a chair crying.
93. I'd much rather be naked than wear clothes.
94. I don't eat any vegetables except for green beans and raw carrots.
95. I do, however, take vitamins.
96. I've seen every James Bond movie at least 3 times.
97. The only professional sport I have any interest in is tennis.
98. I only started watching tennis because I thought one of the players was cute.
99. I had glasses and braces until the last week of my senior year in high school.
100. I've been pulled over for speeding 5 times, but haven't yet gotten a ticket.

Home Sweet Home?

2005-02-18T02:04:00.000-05:00

I got quite a surprise today. I was looking for some information on my hometown to post here to give a bit of a picture of where I come from. My hometown, a redneck paradise in the middle of nowhere with the stunning population of about 2,500 people, has a website. I believe it is the single ugliest website I have ever encountered online, but a website nonetheless. I'm just amazed these people know what the internet is.

I'm aware that Munising is a tourist destination. I have no idea WHY these tourists visit, but for some reason they do. They keep the economy moving and all that, but why on earth would anyone create a website singing the praises of this town? I can't imagine this site coming up in any search and someone actually considering a vacation here.

After the shock had worn off, I went back to the search results to see what other sites had come up in my quest to discover all the internet has to say about my hometown.

Apparently, some guy decided to move to Munising, and got so many questions regarding his decision that he decided to post an explanation on his website. When you need to create an entire page on your website dedicated to defending your decision on where you live, you might want to reconsider your location. Just a thought.

One of the places I've worked in Munising is Pictured Rocks Cruises. I worked in a gift shop and sold tickets for people to pay $27 to take a 2.5 hour boat ride and look at rocks. They actually have a webcam on their site where you can see their pier and the bay. Wow...pictures of an empty parking lot and a frozen bay. My excitement knows no bounds.

The internet is such fun. :o)

I've Been Found

2005-02-16T18:04:00.000-05:00

I check my site statistics a little too often. It's like some kind of sad popularity meter (Four returning visitors today! Wow...people like me!). I have been eagerly awaiting my first visit from a keyword search. I know, I know, it's sad, but at least I'm aware that I'm being pathetic. :-b I was checking my stats last night, and I have been found by 2 searches!

2005 subway superbowl commercial song

ford mustang commercial, frozen guy

So both searches were about the same post, and neither really had anything to do with my blog, but I'm still excited. Just thought I'd share.

I Hate My Sister's Boyfriend

2005-02-16T01:08:00.000-05:00

My sister Sarah (literally my favorite person in the world) is 18 years old. She's been in a long-distance relationship with a guy since August. His name is Tim, he's 23, and I really don't like him.

To be fair, I doubt I'd ever think any guy is good enough for Sarah, and I've only met Tim three times.

The first time we met was in September when he was visiting her here (she used to go to school in Grand Rapids), and I invited them over for dinner. I made lasagna and cleaned the apartment. I don't know about you, but if I were meeting a member of a boyfriend's family for the first time, I'd try to make a good impression. He said about 20 words all evening. I'm not the most social person in the world, but I was really trying to talk to him. I didn't want to look like I was interrogating him, but I kept asking questions in order to try to start a conversation. He'd give a one-word answer, then stay silent.

The second time we met was at the end of October on the way to my grandpa's funeral. The funeral was in Missouri and Tim lives in Illinois, so we stopped at his grandma's house in Illinois to meet my parents, who were coming from a different direction. Tim stopped by the house while we were waiting, and I kind of left him and Sarah alone so they could see each other. He was a little more communicative when I did interact with him, but not really enough to overwrite the bad first impression. I also noticed that his grandma seemed to wait on him hand and foot while he was there, which kind of bothered me.

On our way back from the funeral, we picked Tim up to bring to Grand Rapids. He and Sarah were going up to my parent's house for the weekend, and his parents were traveling up in a few days to visit his brother, who is the youth pastor at my parents' church, so he'd ride home with them. To be fair, I was kind of upset about Tim riding with us, since I hadn't been informed of this until we were about an hour from his hometown. I did resolve, though, to be nice. We got to his house pretty late at night, met his mom (he lives with his parents), and spent the night there. We left around 10 the next morning. He didn't say a single word for the first 2 hours of the trip, and even after that he rarely spoke at all. I'm not at all a morning person, but that's kind of ridiculous. I kept asking him questions, trying to be social, but he just ignored me. I even asked Sarah about it this time (I hadn't mentioned to her that I didn't really like him when we first met), but she said she had never seen him act like this.

Today, however, was the last straw. Sarah left school after last semester, and she moved back home with my parents. She drove 9 hours on Saturday to see him (missing my dad's birthday and most of my visit home). She was planning on staying until Friday, then coming up to see me for a few days, then heading home.

Now Sarah and Tim's relationship, while they haven't really been dating very long, is quite serious. They talk for 2-3 hours on the phone literally every night, and they've been pretty seriously discussing marriage. I think 18 is WAY too young to get married, but I've shared that opinion with her and now the decision is up to her. I love her and will support whatever she does. Sarah was kind of expecting a proposal on Valentine's Day, although she was pretty much just excited to be celebrating Valentine's Day with a boyfriend for the first time. She made him heart-shaped peanut butter cookies (his favorite), and bought him a little turtle figurine (her nickname for him).

When I got home from work today, there was a message from Sarah on the machine saying she wanted to talk to me about the worst Valentine's Day ever. I called her back; this is how they spent Valentine's Day: She went to work with him from 9-5. She did homework all day while he worked (she's taking college classes online). When they got home, she and his mom cooked spaghetti for dinner. They ate it together, then Tim wanted to go to the gym and work out, but his mom talked him out of it. They sat down and watched tv all evening. No card, no flowers, no ring.

Now I'm thinking (hoping for her sake) that this is probably some elaborate setup, and he's planning on doing something before she leaves, but why on earth couldn't he have given her at least something on Valentine's Day?! This is the first time she's ever been in a serious relationship, and the first time they've been able to be together on any major holiday. I could see this all being part of some plan to do a complex proposal or something in the future, but she was in tears on the phone talking to me. He made my sister cry...I don't think I'll ever forgive him.

The Long Road Home

2005-02-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

Instead of driving back from my parents' house on Sunday afternoon, I decided to go to bed early Sunday night, then wake up early Monday morning and make the trip home in time for work. Not something I'd really recommend, at least in Michigan in winter.

Pros:

*I got to spend extra time with my family.
*I woke up at 2 a.m., was on the road by 3, stopped at my apartment to shower and change when I got into town, and still made it to work by 9:30.

Cons:

*In about 6 hours of driving, I experienced snow, sleet, high winds, freezing rain, rain, and fog.
*I was unable to use cruise control for most of the drive due to the weather conditions, and my right leg aches from having to use it constantly. How did people ever drive long distances before cruise was invented?
*In my drive through most of Michigan's Upper Peninsula (about 120 miles; 2 hours of driving) I saw a total of 14 vehicles on the road. Four of them were snow plows.
*About an hour before I got home, I almost got into a car accident. I was less than 5 miles from where I was in a pretty serious car accident less than a year ago.
*I apparently tense my shoulders when I'm driving in stressful conditions. They're still sore.
*Office chairs are quite uncomfortable when you've been sitting in a car for 6 hours.
*I generally avoid caffeine. I do, however, like to avoid falling asleep at the wheel. Apparently, the caffeine found in 3 Diet Pepsis makes me rather...jittery.

I kind of crashed when I got home from work yesterday afternoon. Fell asleep on the couch, then woke up around 4 a.m. and went to bed. I had brought my bedding home to wash it, and I was too tired to haul it up the stairs to my apartment (third floor) when I got back from work, so it was still all in my car. I slept on a bare mattress with one pillow I had left here. All in all, a pretty exciting Valentine's Day! :-b

*****

While I was driving, I was thinking about my post from last week saying that I have nothing really interesting to blog about. Then I started thinking about my family, and how strange we really are. I believe I have found fodder for blogging...

*****

On a totally unrelated note, I just saw Ken Jennings (the Jeopardy guy) in a Cingular commercial tonight. I was wondering how long it would take. I'm not really sure what to say about this...

Nothing Like Procrastination...

2005-02-11T16:41:00.000-05:00

Before I leave today (I'd like to leave by 5:30) I need to:

-pack
-water my plants
-wash a few dishes
-take out the garbage
-put gas in my car

I'm still at work right now. I somehow doubt I'll be leaving town when I had planned...

Update:

I ended up leaving at 6:15. Not too much later than planned. :o)

Ummm...

2005-02-10T23:20:00.000-05:00

What to blog about today?

Here's the thing...I'm an incredibly boring person. I read quite a few blogs regularly, and people seem to have interesting things to talk about. Some people tell stories about their past. I'm 21 years old, and my life has been pretty boring so far. Some people tell stories about their active social lives. I go to work, then come home and watch tv and get online. Some people tell stories about their children. I am quite happy to say that I have none. Some people write incredibly deep and meaningful posts. I'm not really that great of a writer.

I can't really think of anything much to say today. I worked late so I can leave early tomorrow in order to travel home to visit my parents. I shall endeavor to do something interesting tomorrow in order to have something to blog about. :o)

Confession

2005-02-10T01:30:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make. I am addicted to American Idol.

I distinctly remember the first season of the show, mocking it and insisting that I would never watch it. Living in a college dorm at the time, I went down to the lounge to watch some tennis only to find a stupid girl watching the American Idol finals with her boyfriend. She was crying, which only intensified my disgust toward the show. I stayed down there, because the boyfriend agreed to watch tennis during commercials, disgusted by how blatantly they were dragging things out. The last 5 minutes of the show could have been all they showed, with exactly the same effect.

The next year I ended up living with a girl who was kind of like the one I had met in the lounge. I completely blame her for this addiction...we didn't miss an episode all season. I suppose I could have left the room or put headphones on, but those initial episodes, listening to people insist on their nonexistent talent, sucked me in. I just can't help but be entertained by people who still believe their parents when they say they are talented, regardless of what is being said by industry professionals. Don't they listen to themselves?

So this year, I was going to be really good and just avoid watching it from the beginning. I stayed kind of late at work on the day of the season premiere, and I walked in the door to my roommate, only to hear a very familiar theme song coming from the tv. Thus the tradition continues...

Elizabeth...out!

Hibernating

2005-02-09T17:06:00.000-05:00

I've been hibernating.

I do this on occasion. I don't know what sets it off, but I become completely asocial for a few days or weeks. Recently, I've had no desire for any human interaction.

Generally when I feel like this, I read. I become absorbed in imaginary lives because I don't want to be in mine. I somehow doubt that this is the most healthy way to deal with what is probably some kind of depression, but it's what I've always done. Since I was a child, reading has been my escape. I've always felt like I didn't really fit in, but my solution has been to just open a book and let it take me away.

This time, I realized I really can't do this any more. I generally enjoy my job (or at least tolerate it), but I went for about two weeks without any desire to attend work. I got sick last week, and while I probably could have come in to work, I missed 2 1/2 days because I couldn't develop the motivation to get out of bed. Instead, I sat around my apartment with a book or my computer. When I'm at work, I avoid my coworkers. Instead of eating lunch with everyone in the cafeteria, I've been skipping meals or going out and getting fast food to eat at my desk.

I haven't actually opened any mail in quite a while. I realized this yesterday, when I was setting down what was obviously a bill on top of a pile of letters that have been accumulating on my desk. There's a letter from my sister in there, and a note my mom included when she forwarded some important tax papers, but I haven't even looked at them. I just don't care.

Instead of cooking in my apartment and eating with my roommate, I've been picking food up on the way home and eating it myself before she gets back.

I have no idea what sets off these little moods of mine. They tend to happen most often in winter, but I've felt like this at other times of the year, too. I just don't want to do anything at all.

I finally started to feel better this weekend. Ironically, my roommate was visiting her parents, so I was alone at the time I actually wanted to talk to someone. My sister called me on Sunday and instead of trying to get off the phone we talked for half an hour. I think things are looking up. I just wish I didn't have to fall so hard every time this happens that I need to climb out of a dark hole for things to be better.

My SuperBowl Diary

2005-02-07T15:20:00.000-05:00

So I watched the SuperBowl yesterday. Not out of any desire to actually WATCH football, but for some reason I just always do. Because I know my personal experience watching a football game is extremely important to the survival of the world, I am posting a diary of my experiences while watching said game.

I woke up at 5:30 p.m. (long story), surfed around on my computer for a while, then realized...hey! the game's probably starting soon! So I went to the tv guide channel (since I had no idea what channel the game was actually on) and found that it had started 20 minutes earlier. No big deal, not like I actually care, so I turn it on, only it's still the pre-show so I didn't miss anything.

George H. W. Bush looks OLD! And Bill Clinton still looks sleazy. Still weird to see them together.

*So, important point here, I REALLY don't get football, so I just don't watch it. Tennis is the only sport I ever watch. I did, however, briefly consider a marketing major in college, and I've always loved watching the commercials. Hence Elizabeth watching the SuperBowl. Also, Tom Brady? HOT!*

Beer (possibly Bud Light? I never pay attention) commercial with the pilot jumping out of the plane to catch the beer? Somewhat funny, yes, but hardly SuperBowl worthy.

Subway commercial with the windows fogged up and the cops thinking it's a couple having fun...highly entertaining. Still not sure if it's SuperBowl worthy, though. Getting a bad feeling about the SuperBowl-worthiness of tonight's commercials.

Hmmm...football seems to have started. Should probably pay attention.

NFL network commercial with random football players all singing "Tomorrow"? Made me giggle.

Ford Mustang commercial with the guy apparently frozen to death...quite entertaining. Also special to me because for YEARS as a child I desperately wanted a Ford Mustang. Still wouldn't exactly turn one down...but I do love my Focus. Honestly. Back to the commercial, though, the summer style of the shirt and the sunglasses are nice touches.

Tom Brady? Still HOT!!

Oh...someone got points. I'm kind of cheering for the Patriots, not really sure why, so kind of sucks that it's not them. Back to my reading.

Interruption of phone call from my sister...will probably blog about it tomorrow.

Beer commercial with the different animals coming to join the Clydesdales because of the donkey? Cute. I like the consistency of this series...

Start somewhat watching the game. Don't you love how the announcers just randomly blurt out statistics that no one should ever know, much less care about knowing? I find it highly entertaining.

Oh...the Patriots apparently got a touchdown too. Cool. Still not so much with the watching of the football.

Beer commercial with the soldiers coming home and everyone in the airport clapping? Corny, yes, but it made me cry. Come home safe, Thomas! Thoughts and prayers. :o)

Ameriquest cat stabbing commercial? High point of my evening. Seriously. (Not to confuse anyone, I love cats, but the most original commercial of the evening.)

Ummmm...more points have been gotten. Should have probably been paying attention.

Commercials I've seen before? Like the Staples "easy button ones? WHY?! It's the freaking SuperBowl!! You had to pay like $2 million to play that! And you couldn't come up with something new?! Highly upsetting.

P. Diddy (or whatever he wants to be called now) driving a Diet Pepsi truck, so everyone else getting one to be like him? Points for irony. Extra points for using Carson Daly, who I so crushed on in high school and now look at with great confusion. Ummm...yeah...I left a show in which at least high school girls knew who I was for a show that's on at like 3 a.m. Great career move.

Um...wow...lots of points gotten. Consider Googling rules of football to see how Patriots could have apparently gotten 3 points in one move (was aware of touchdowns and the subsequent field goals, but no other method of gaining points). Too lazy to sort through Google results, call little brother to explain. Feel like an idiot (although the shock in his voice to hear that I was watching it was quite entertaining).

So, Patriots win. Good times. And Tom Brady? Still HOT!! :-D

Random Thoughts

2005-01-20T01:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while (not that anyone is really reading this). Since Saturday, I've had one of the worst migraines I've ever experienced. Today is the first day I've been able to look at my computer without excruciating pain. Not a good thing when my job entails looking at my computer screen for 8 hours. Amazing, really, how much time I can spend at work, yet not working.

Whenever I am unable to use a computer or be online for any lengthy period of time, I realize how much of an internet addict I really am. It's pitiful. I seriously spend 8 hours each day at work on my computer, then come back to my apartment and spend the rest of the night on the couch, watching tv, with my laptop on my lap and surfing the net. These past few days with the migraine are the only days I can think of in recent memory in which I was not voluntarily online at any point. I think blogs are my worst addiction...if I like someone's blog, I feel a compulsory need to read every single post in their archive, and often the comments on each post. It's a sickness. Really.

My dad called Friday night, and I didn't recognize his voice on the phone at all. In a way, this is to be expected, since my total experience in talking on the phone with my dad is A) "Hi! Here's your mom." and B) "Dad? My car's broken again. What do you think this sound means?" In a way, I blame my dad for the fact that we don't really have much of a relationship. I'm one of 6 kids, and I know I'm not exactly either of my parents' favorite child. I felt like such a horrible person, though, when I asked who it was on the phone and he said "It's your dad" like I should have known it. The worst part was he was calling to thank me for the Christmas present I gave him. After about a minute of awkward conversation in which I felt like the world's worst daughter, he passed the phone on to my mom.

Until last Saturday, I hadn't been out to the movies in at least 2 or 3 months. I honestly can't remember the last movie I saw. Since last Saturday, I've been to the movies 3 times. Summary: Spanglish is kinda interesting, not at all what I expected. Phantom of the Opera is incredible. In Good Company is highly adorable.

A guy at work (not in my department) got fired last week, and I don't know why. I work with his wife, and I'm very curious about what happened. He's a really nice guy and I can't really think of why he'd get fired. I was just about to ask her subtly what was going on while we were at lunch on Monday, when she started talking about how she's getting so annoyed with people asking about the situation. Now I can't ask her, because I know she is tired of hearing about it, but I'm dying to know what happened. An innately curious nature can be such a burden sometimes.

Isn't it amazing how much you can think of when you're supposed to be sleeping? I was going to head to bed early tonight, but I started writing this and just didn't stop. It's probably good for me, though, to write stuff down. That was the original purpose of this blog...to write some of these thoughts down so I can hopefully stop thinking about them. Good night. :o)

Rant

2005-01-13T13:20:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I really HATE being a girl!

That's all.

I Wanna Go Home

2005-01-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I just really don't want to be here today. It's gotten really warm since yesterday (all the way up to 50 degrees), and it's one of those rainy gray days. I just want to be sitting at home, on the couch, reading. Or cuddled up in bed under my comforter. On the positive side, though, at least it's not snowing! The temperature is apparently supposed to drop all day today, going from about 45 degrees to about 15 by midnight. I have a feeling it'll be just a bit slippery tomorrow.

The whole falling asleep early thing has kind of stopped. The last few nights I've gotten to bed around 2 a.m., which is definitely not early enough now that I've gotten into the habit of actually getting sleep. I think I'm going to have to consciously make myself go to bed earlier. It was nice actually getting up when my alarm went off without having to talk myself into it. I don't have any specific time I absolutely have to get into work, and my times this week have been quickly degenerating. The problem with coming in late is that I have to stay late to make up for it...not exactly my favorite thing in the world. One good thing, though, is that I slept through my alarm this morning, and I still woke up on my own around 8:30. I've mentioned in a previous post that the week between Christmas and New Years I didn't really sleep much at night. Well, one night, I had stayed up, and I was getting pretty sleepy around 5ish. I decided to take a quick nap for a few hours and wake up at 7 to get ready for work. I woke up at 4:30 p.m. Fortunately, my boss wasn't in that week, and my schedule was entirely voluntarily. Quite a scare, though, waking up and seeing that time on the clock. I guess last week's schedule taught my body something! :o)

You Hear It First

2005-01-11T20:54:00.000-05:00

So I'm watching Real World right now. I haven't really watched much MTV since high school, but it's interesting to see how much is the same. Did you realize Kurt Loder is still one of their news reporters? He's OLD!! It has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen; the little MTV News logo comes up, then this guy, older than my parents, introducing a story on some hip-hop thing. Completely incongruous.

I know I haven't posted much lately. I'm working on a huge project at work, and I've spent yesterday evening babysitting for a friend. Can you believe there are still people who don't have internet access? I'm catching up on some stuff tonight, but I should be back to my same annoying 3 or 4 posts a day tomorrow. :-D

Monday Mornings

2005-01-10T09:19:00.000-05:00

I didn't exactly accomplish as much as I had planned this weekend. Let's see...of the list I posted, I:-returned the Christmas stuff-put gas in my car and washed it-went to dinner and a movie with my roommate-washed dishesGuess I got almost half of it done. That's not too bad. Now I really have to get going on cleaning, though...we have people coming over this weekend. I hate that I procrastinate.

Speaking of procrastination, Monday mornings are the most difficult time of the week for me to get work done. Friday afternoons are bad, because I'm focused on getting out of here, but on Mondays it's so difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I have a project I've been putting off since before Christmas, and I said I'd finish it today. I have it partly done, but there's still quite a bit to do before I'll be finished. Guess I should probably get back to it.

Weekend Fun

2005-01-08T09:06:00.000-05:00

I went to bed at 10:30 last night. Guess I really am changing habits. Shouldn't complain, though...I woke up at 8:30 this morning. That hasn't happened without an alarm clock on a weekend in years.

I was thinking yesterday about all the things I need to get done this weekend. I tend to store stuff up during the week telling myself I'll have more time on the weekend. Then the weekend comes and I have too much to do. The list:

-clean bedroom (involves putting away a LOT of laundry)
-dishes
-laundry
-water plants (I have almost 40)
-return unused Christmas stuff (at least 4 stores)
-gas in car
-wash car
-drop off Christmas presents to uncle and cousin
-dinner and movie with roommate (at least I have some fun stuff planned)

And before any of that, I need to get up off this couch, take a shower, and get dressed. I think that'll be the hardest thing to motivate myself do to all weekend.

Random Note

2005-01-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

I just noticed a note someone wrote on the pile of sticky notes I have on my desk. It says Good Morning, Fred! Have a good one! :-) I have no idea who wrote it. Fred is a nickname based on my last name that very few people call me (I can think of 3), but none of them have access to my office. My office is in a relatively open area, so it could have been pretty much anyone I work with, but I have no idea why they'd leave me that note, and why they'd call me Fred. Very strange, but it made me smile! Kind of funny, though, that I notice a "good morning" note an hour before I leave for the day.

Equal Justice?

2005-01-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

News

Unbelievable, isn't it? I'm rarely surprised by inequalities in the justice system. I've studied law a little myself and have an understanding of how complex the system is and how many small factors can influence decisions, but this is incredible. I can't even imagine how the son feels about this.

I saw this story yesterday, but wasn't sure how to blog it. Figured out how to link to it today, and then spent almost 15 minutes tracking down the story. :-b

Phone Sex and Sleeping Pills

2005-01-07T09:38:00.000-05:00

Ever notice the kind of commercials that come on late at night? I've never really paid much attention to what time it starts, but suddenly every commercial on is either for one of those phone sex lines or for sleeping pills. For some reason, I find those commercials extremely funny. I love the commercials for Ambien that keep talking about getting back on the "cycle of life." And the phone sex commercials...they show all these "hot" girls talking about how they're 18, but you know the real operators are unattractive middle-aged women just trying to make some money. Quality entertainment.

I've always been a night person. As far back as I can remember, I'd stay up as late as possible. As a kid, I used to sneak a flashlight into my bed to read under the covers. My freshman year of college, when my parents were finally not around to tell me what to do, I stayed up all night at least twice a week and usually slept away the weekend. The habit continued pretty much all through college...I remember waking up barely in time to grab dinner at the cafeteria on Saturday evening and rushing to get it so I'd be able to eat something for the day. This year, the week between Christmas and New Years, my roommate was still with her family and I was alone in the apartment. I didn't sleep a single night for 6 days, just stayed up all night online and watching tv and took naps in the afternoon.

My sleeping habits have never been helpful for class and work schedules. I had a 7:35 a.m. class my junior year, and I either missed or slept through at least 2/3 of the class sessions (still got a B+). I had to open my office area at work this past summer, because I had 5 employees who didn't have keys, and I was a few minutes late from oversleeping pretty much every day. I can get ready for class or work (including shower and makeup) in under 10 minutes when necessary.

The weird thing is, this week I've gotten to bed early every night. I haven't been trying or doing anything different, but I'm unbelievably tired really early. I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night, so I crashed on the couch Monday around 7 p.m. (missed dinner and everything). I slept through the night and went to work on time on Tuesday, and I again fell asleep on the couch at 9. Wednesday night I was about to fall asleep on the couch again, but I managed to get to bed at 11. Last night, I made it to midnight before crashing, but just barely.

There's a part of me that wonders if I'm sick or something. It just can't be normal to change a lifelong habit in a week with no effort. I'm kind of happy to be so awake at work every day, but it's weird. I feel like I'm not really doing much with my day when I'm asleep 5 or 6 hours after I get off work. I'm used to being awake at home for at least 3 or 4 more hours, and I can get more done or at least spend more time having fun. Now I'm wide awake at work instead of dozing at my desk, but I want to be just wandering the internet instead of working since I didn't get a chance last night. Maybe I'm just growing up. :o) Guess I'll have to wait and see, though...a week probably isn't really long enough to make much of a judgment.

Be Careful What You Ask For

2005-01-06T21:34:00.000-05:00

My grandma and one of my aunts always do their Christmas shopping together, and they ask for a list to shop from so they know you'll like your gift. Makes shopping for a huge family much easier. I always forget to make up my list until the absolute last minute, and I end up making up a list off the top of my head and sending it. This year, my mom called me and I just told her a few things over the phone. For the past 3 or 4 years, I've gotten quite a lot of lotion and candy as "filler gifts" in addition to a few bigger items. I mentioned that my favorite lotion scent was green tea, and my favorite candy is Reese's peanut butter cups, figuring that if I'm going to get it I might as well get what I like. The tally: 3 bottles of green tea lotion, 2 bottles of green tea perfume, 2 bottles of green tea body wash, two large bags of mini-peanut butter cups, 2 king-size peanut butter cups, and one 10-pack of peanut butter cups. I'm gonna be really fat, but at least I'll smell good!

Stupid Michigan

2005-01-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

I know I've mentioned this before, as well as put it in my profile, but I HATE living in Michigan. Woke up this morning to about 6 inches of snow. It took me forever to brush off my car, and I was late for work even though I left 15 minutes earlier than usual. Stupid drivers that apparently can't move faster than 30 mph when the roads are perfectly clear. Argh.

OK...rant over. :o)

Last Post for Today

2005-01-05T20:38:00.000-05:00

I'm way too excited for such a small thing, but I figured out how to add the links sections under my profile on the left. Just thought I'd share. :o)

Introduction and Explanation

2005-01-05T18:54:00.000-05:00

This is kind of strange for me...I'm generally a lurker online and rarely post anywhere. I think it'll take a little getting used to. Thought I'd give a little intro and explanation of the title/reason for my blog.

I'm 21 years old; working in database integrity in Grand Rapids, MI. I graduated from college in May '04 and was supposed to start grad school fall '04. I kind of procrastinated on registration and decided to start in spring '05. I procrastinated again and am now planning on starting this summer. I'm hoping to develop a little more motivation this year...I've enjoyed not being in school for the first time since I was 4 years old, but I don't want to get too used to it.

The name and URL of my blog are kind of an explanation of where I am right now. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere waiting for my life to start. I don't like living in Michigan (I grew up in this state and have hated it for years), but I won't be moving until after grad school. I had planned for years on moving to California after school, but recently have been having doubts on that. I like my job, but it's certainly not something I could see myself doing long-term. Basically, nothing in my life is where I want it to be, and I'm completely living on thoughts of the future. I'm getting tired of feeling like everything going on in my life is a stage I need to pass through. I think maybe writing things down will help me stop obsessing over them in my head. :o)

New Blog for a New Year

2005-01-05T16:57:00.000-05:00

I started following quite a few blogs last year, and I've been interested in starting one of my own for a while. I thought the new year was as good a time as any. I'm about to leave work right now, so not enough time for a long post...I'll try to post something tonight.