Random Thoughts

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while (not that anyone is really reading this). Since Saturday, I've had one of the worst migraines I've ever experienced. Today is the first day I've been able to look at my computer without excruciating pain. Not a good thing when my job entails looking at my computer screen for 8 hours. Amazing, really, how much time I can spend at work, yet not working.

Whenever I am unable to use a computer or be online for any lengthy period of time, I realize how much of an internet addict I really am. It's pitiful. I seriously spend 8 hours each day at work on my computer, then come back to my apartment and spend the rest of the night on the couch, watching tv, with my laptop on my lap and surfing the net. These past few days with the migraine are the only days I can think of in recent memory in which I was not voluntarily online at any point. I think blogs are my worst addiction...if I like someone's blog, I feel a compulsory need to read every single post in their archive, and often the comments on each post. It's a sickness. Really.

My dad called Friday night, and I didn't recognize his voice on the phone at all. In a way, this is to be expected, since my total experience in talking on the phone with my dad is A) "Hi! Here's your mom." and B) "Dad? My car's broken again. What do you think this sound means?" In a way, I blame my dad for the fact that we don't really have much of a relationship. I'm one of 6 kids, and I know I'm not exactly either of my parents' favorite child. I felt like such a horrible person, though, when I asked who it was on the phone and he said "It's your dad" like I should have known it. The worst part was he was calling to thank me for the Christmas present I gave him. After about a minute of awkward conversation in which I felt like the world's worst daughter, he passed the phone on to my mom.

Until last Saturday, I hadn't been out to the movies in at least 2 or 3 months. I honestly can't remember the last movie I saw. Since last Saturday, I've been to the movies 3 times. Summary: Spanglish is kinda interesting, not at all what I expected. Phantom of the Opera is incredible. In Good Company is highly adorable.

A guy at work (not in my department) got fired last week, and I don't know why. I work with his wife, and I'm very curious about what happened. He's a really nice guy and I can't really think of why he'd get fired. I was just about to ask her subtly what was going on while we were at lunch on Monday, when she started talking about how she's getting so annoyed with people asking about the situation. Now I can't ask her, because I know she is tired of hearing about it, but I'm dying to know what happened. An innately curious nature can be such a burden sometimes.

Isn't it amazing how much you can think of when you're supposed to be sleeping? I was going to head to bed early tonight, but I started writing this and just didn't stop. It's probably good for me, though, to write stuff down. That was the original purpose of this blog...to write some of these thoughts down so I can hopefully stop thinking about them. Good night. :o)

Rant

Sometimes I really HATE being a girl!

That's all.

I Wanna Go Home

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I just really don't want to be here today. It's gotten really warm since yesterday (all the way up to 50 degrees), and it's one of those rainy gray days. I just want to be sitting at home, on the couch, reading. Or cuddled up in bed under my comforter. On the positive side, though, at least it's not snowing! The temperature is apparently supposed to drop all day today, going from about 45 degrees to about 15 by midnight. I have a feeling it'll be just a bit slippery tomorrow.

The whole falling asleep early thing has kind of stopped. The last few nights I've gotten to bed around 2 a.m., which is definitely not early enough now that I've gotten into the habit of actually getting sleep. I think I'm going to have to consciously make myself go to bed earlier. It was nice actually getting up when my alarm went off without having to talk myself into it. I don't have any specific time I absolutely have to get into work, and my times this week have been quickly degenerating. The problem with coming in late is that I have to stay late to make up for it...not exactly my favorite thing in the world. One good thing, though, is that I slept through my alarm this morning, and I still woke up on my own around 8:30. I've mentioned in a previous post that the week between Christmas and New Years I didn't really sleep much at night. Well, one night, I had stayed up, and I was getting pretty sleepy around 5ish. I decided to take a quick nap for a few hours and wake up at 7 to get ready for work. I woke up at 4:30 p.m. Fortunately, my boss wasn't in that week, and my schedule was entirely voluntarily. Quite a scare, though, waking up and seeing that time on the clock. I guess last week's schedule taught my body something! :o)

You Hear It First

So I'm watching Real World right now. I haven't really watched much MTV since high school, but it's interesting to see how much is the same. Did you realize Kurt Loder is still one of their news reporters? He's OLD!! It has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen; the little MTV News logo comes up, then this guy, older than my parents, introducing a story on some hip-hop thing. Completely incongruous.

I know I haven't posted much lately. I'm working on a huge project at work, and I've spent yesterday evening babysitting for a friend. Can you believe there are still people who don't have internet access? I'm catching up on some stuff tonight, but I should be back to my same annoying 3 or 4 posts a day tomorrow. :-D

Monday Mornings

I didn't exactly accomplish as much as I had planned this weekend. Let's see...of the list I posted, I:-returned the Christmas stuff-put gas in my car and washed it-went to dinner and a movie with my roommate-washed dishesGuess I got almost half of it done. That's not too bad. Now I really have to get going on cleaning, though...we have people coming over this weekend. I hate that I procrastinate.

Speaking of procrastination, Monday mornings are the most difficult time of the week for me to get work done. Friday afternoons are bad, because I'm focused on getting out of here, but on Mondays it's so difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I have a project I've been putting off since before Christmas, and I said I'd finish it today. I have it partly done, but there's still quite a bit to do before I'll be finished. Guess I should probably get back to it.

Weekend Fun

I went to bed at 10:30 last night. Guess I really am changing habits. Shouldn't complain, though...I woke up at 8:30 this morning. That hasn't happened without an alarm clock on a weekend in years.

I was thinking yesterday about all the things I need to get done this weekend. I tend to store stuff up during the week telling myself I'll have more time on the weekend. Then the weekend comes and I have too much to do. The list:

-clean bedroom (involves putting away a LOT of laundry)
-dishes
-laundry
-water plants (I have almost 40)
-return unused Christmas stuff (at least 4 stores)
-gas in car
-wash car
-drop off Christmas presents to uncle and cousin
-dinner and movie with roommate (at least I have some fun stuff planned)

And before any of that, I need to get up off this couch, take a shower, and get dressed. I think that'll be the hardest thing to motivate myself do to all weekend.

Random Note

I just noticed a note someone wrote on the pile of sticky notes I have on my desk. It says Good Morning, Fred! Have a good one! :-) I have no idea who wrote it. Fred is a nickname based on my last name that very few people call me (I can think of 3), but none of them have access to my office. My office is in a relatively open area, so it could have been pretty much anyone I work with, but I have no idea why they'd leave me that note, and why they'd call me Fred. Very strange, but it made me smile! Kind of funny, though, that I notice a "good morning" note an hour before I leave for the day.

Equal Justice?

News

Unbelievable, isn't it? I'm rarely surprised by inequalities in the justice system. I've studied law a little myself and have an understanding of how complex the system is and how many small factors can influence decisions, but this is incredible. I can't even imagine how the son feels about this.

I saw this story yesterday, but wasn't sure how to blog it. Figured out how to link to it today, and then spent almost 15 minutes tracking down the story. :-b

Phone Sex and Sleeping Pills

Ever notice the kind of commercials that come on late at night? I've never really paid much attention to what time it starts, but suddenly every commercial on is either for one of those phone sex lines or for sleeping pills. For some reason, I find those commercials extremely funny. I love the commercials for Ambien that keep talking about getting back on the "cycle of life." And the phone sex commercials...they show all these "hot" girls talking about how they're 18, but you know the real operators are unattractive middle-aged women just trying to make some money. Quality entertainment.

I've always been a night person. As far back as I can remember, I'd stay up as late as possible. As a kid, I used to sneak a flashlight into my bed to read under the covers. My freshman year of college, when my parents were finally not around to tell me what to do, I stayed up all night at least twice a week and usually slept away the weekend. The habit continued pretty much all through college...I remember waking up barely in time to grab dinner at the cafeteria on Saturday evening and rushing to get it so I'd be able to eat something for the day. This year, the week between Christmas and New Years, my roommate was still with her family and I was alone in the apartment. I didn't sleep a single night for 6 days, just stayed up all night online and watching tv and took naps in the afternoon.

My sleeping habits have never been helpful for class and work schedules. I had a 7:35 a.m. class my junior year, and I either missed or slept through at least 2/3 of the class sessions (still got a B+). I had to open my office area at work this past summer, because I had 5 employees who didn't have keys, and I was a few minutes late from oversleeping pretty much every day. I can get ready for class or work (including shower and makeup) in under 10 minutes when necessary.

The weird thing is, this week I've gotten to bed early every night. I haven't been trying or doing anything different, but I'm unbelievably tired really early. I didn't sleep at all on Sunday night, so I crashed on the couch Monday around 7 p.m. (missed dinner and everything). I slept through the night and went to work on time on Tuesday, and I again fell asleep on the couch at 9. Wednesday night I was about to fall asleep on the couch again, but I managed to get to bed at 11. Last night, I made it to midnight before crashing, but just barely.

There's a part of me that wonders if I'm sick or something. It just can't be normal to change a lifelong habit in a week with no effort. I'm kind of happy to be so awake at work every day, but it's weird. I feel like I'm not really doing much with my day when I'm asleep 5 or 6 hours after I get off work. I'm used to being awake at home for at least 3 or 4 more hours, and I can get more done or at least spend more time having fun. Now I'm wide awake at work instead of dozing at my desk, but I want to be just wandering the internet instead of working since I didn't get a chance last night. Maybe I'm just growing up. :o) Guess I'll have to wait and see, though...a week probably isn't really long enough to make much of a judgment.

Be Careful What You Ask For

My grandma and one of my aunts always do their Christmas shopping together, and they ask for a list to shop from so they know you'll like your gift. Makes shopping for a huge family much easier. I always forget to make up my list until the absolute last minute, and I end up making up a list off the top of my head and sending it. This year, my mom called me and I just told her a few things over the phone. For the past 3 or 4 years, I've gotten quite a lot of lotion and candy as "filler gifts" in addition to a few bigger items. I mentioned that my favorite lotion scent was green tea, and my favorite candy is Reese's peanut butter cups, figuring that if I'm going to get it I might as well get what I like. The tally: 3 bottles of green tea lotion, 2 bottles of green tea perfume, 2 bottles of green tea body wash, two large bags of mini-peanut butter cups, 2 king-size peanut butter cups, and one 10-pack of peanut butter cups. I'm gonna be really fat, but at least I'll smell good!

Stupid Michigan

I know I've mentioned this before, as well as put it in my profile, but I HATE living in Michigan. Woke up this morning to about 6 inches of snow. It took me forever to brush off my car, and I was late for work even though I left 15 minutes earlier than usual. Stupid drivers that apparently can't move faster than 30 mph when the roads are perfectly clear. Argh.

OK...rant over. :o)

Last Post for Today

I'm way too excited for such a small thing, but I figured out how to add the links sections under my profile on the left. Just thought I'd share. :o)

Introduction and Explanation

This is kind of strange for me...I'm generally a lurker online and rarely post anywhere. I think it'll take a little getting used to. Thought I'd give a little intro and explanation of the title/reason for my blog.

I'm 21 years old; working in database integrity in Grand Rapids, MI. I graduated from college in May '04 and was supposed to start grad school fall '04. I kind of procrastinated on registration and decided to start in spring '05. I procrastinated again and am now planning on starting this summer. I'm hoping to develop a little more motivation this year...I've enjoyed not being in school for the first time since I was 4 years old, but I don't want to get too used to it.

The name and URL of my blog are kind of an explanation of where I am right now. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere waiting for my life to start. I don't like living in Michigan (I grew up in this state and have hated it for years), but I won't be moving until after grad school. I had planned for years on moving to California after school, but recently have been having doubts on that. I like my job, but it's certainly not something I could see myself doing long-term. Basically, nothing in my life is where I want it to be, and I'm completely living on thoughts of the future. I'm getting tired of feeling like everything going on in my life is a stage I need to pass through. I think maybe writing things down will help me stop obsessing over them in my head. :o)

New Blog for a New Year

I started following quite a few blogs last year, and I've been interested in starting one of my own for a while. I thought the new year was as good a time as any. I'm about to leave work right now, so not enough time for a long post...I'll try to post something tonight.